Chapter 3

Question 1

What is the first problem we face in a crucial conversation?

Answer 1

Our motives change from trying to find solutions to trying to fix others.

Question 2

“Work on me first and us second” refers to what.

Answer 2

The fact that the only person we can truly change, is ourselves. By improving ourselves, we can improve the dialogue we have with others.

Question 3

What are the two things that skilled people who “Start with the heart” do?

Answer 3

1. They begin with the right motives to determine what they want, and they never stray from that.
2. They refuse to make the fools choice because they believe that dialogue is always an option.

Question 4

This is dialogue killer that we’ve been learning our whole lives.

Answer 4

Winning

Question 5

We we become angry, we move from wanting to win, to?

Answer 5

Wanting to punish.

Question 6

We may chose to do what rather than make waves and create conflict.

Answer 6

Remain silent and keep the peace.

Question 7

What are the three steps to avoiding the fools choice?

Answer 7

1. Clarify what you want.
2. Clarify what you don’t want.
3. Combine the two into a more complex problem that forces you to become more creative with solutions.