Couples & Relationships

Question 1

Give a psychodynamic understanding of falling in love

Answer 1

• Parallel with passionate mother-baby bond
• Unconscious longing for state of fusion, all needs taken care of
• Primitive desire for this ideal drives early attachment in relationships
• Unconsciously choosing a partner who will receive one’s own unbearable parts - a willing recipient for one’s projections (opposites attract)
• Freud (1936) likened to a delusional state of mind
• The feeling that difficult parts of the self need no longer be faced leads to feeling of elation

(Joanna Rosenthall, New Associations article Issue 18, 2015)