Difference Theory

Question 1

Theorist Behind Difference Theory

Answer 1

Deborah Tannen

Question 2

Status vs Support

Answer 2

• Women see the world as a “network of connections seeking support and consensus”
• Women talk as a way of seeking confirmation and support for their ideas
• Men see the world as a place where they have to gain and keep status

Question 3

Information vs Feelings

Answer 3

• Women’s thoughts or plans can often be sidetracked by conversation and “grooming talk” (eg. Over the phone, other things other than the intended topic may be discussed)
• Men’s thoughts or plans are much more definitive and simple (eg. Over the phone, conversations are very straightforward)

Question 4

Orders vs Proposals

Answer 4

• Women often suggest things in indirect ways, using hedges such as “why don’t we” and “should we”
• Men often prefer to use imperatives such as “let’s” and “we will”

Question 5

Report Talk vs Rapport Talk (Women)

Answer 5

• Talk too much
• Speak in private contexts
• Build relations
• Overlap
• Speak symmetrically

Question 6

Report Talk vs Rapport Talk (Men)

Answer 6

• Get more air time
• Speak in public
• Negotiate status / avoid failure
• Speak one at a time
• Speak asymmetrically

Question 7

Advice vs Understanding

Answer 7

• To many women, complaining is a method of gaining empathy or sympathy
• To many men, a complaint is a challenge to find a solution

Question 8

Independence vs Intimacy

Answer 8

• Women think in terms of closeness and support
• Men (concerned with status) tend to focus on being independent
• Tannen gives an example of a woman asking her husband before a friend can stay at their house – a man most likely wouldn’t ask before inviting