Need to Belong
A motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing positive interactions
Factors leading to Friendship and Attraction
- Proximity
- Similarity
- Reciprocity
- Relationship rewards
- Physical attractiveness
Proximity
-Geographical nearness; “functional distance” predicts liking
Functional Distance
How often people cross paths with one another
Being in Proximity to someone:
- Increases the likelihood of positive interaction
2. Breeds familiarity (and familiarity breeds liking)
The Mere Exposure Effect
The tendency for stimuli to be liked more after repeated exposure to it over time
Similarity
- We prefer those who share our demographic attitudes, beliefs, interests and opinions
- Little evidence for complementarity (the notion that we seek out relationships where each completes what is missing in the other)
Reciprocal Liking
- We like those who like us
- Discovering that an appealing person likes you awakens romantic feelings in your whereby you start to like the person back
Relationship Rewards: Reward Theory of Attraction
-Theorizes that we like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate with rewarding events
Relationship Rewards: Cost-Reward Analysis
If a relationship gives us more rewards than costs, we will like the person more and wish the relationship to continue
Relationship Rewards:
Good Feelings
We like those people we associate with good feelings and positive events
“I like Carol because of the way I feel when I’m around her.”
Physical Attractiveness
- Men value physical attractiveness in the opposite sex somewhat more than women.
- Women value character and personality traits in the opposite sex somewhat more than men.
- Women also value resources more than men.
- Women also value physical attractiveness, they just put less emphasis on it as men.
Matching Phenomenon
Tendency for men and women to choose partners who are “good match” in terms of attractiveness and other traits (We tend to stay in our own league)
Matching Phenomenon: Negative Traits
Low physical attractiveness or age can be compensated for through other qualities (income, resources, education, personality, etc.) thus making an equitable match
What is Beauty?
Although there is some variation across cultures, there is a strong agreement as to what constitutes an “attractive” person
Attractive Men
- Youthfulness
- Smooth skin
- Symmetrical face
- Tapering V-shaped physique
- Height
Attractive Women
- Youthfulness
- Smooth skin
- Symmetrical face (healthy, good genes)
- Hourglass figure, waist a third narrower than the hips
Physical Attractiveness Stereotype
The presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits (kind, outgoing, funny, successful, etc.)
-Also called the “what is beautiful is good stereotype”
Stereotyping Beautiful People
- Attractive people tend to have better social skills!
- They have more people approaching them and engaging with them in social situations
- Also some evidence that attractive people tend to be slightly more relaxed and outgoing in social situations
Sternberg’s Love Triangle
1st: Intimacy
2nd: Passion
3rd: Commitment
=Consummate Love
Passionate Love
- A state of intense longing for union with another
- Deeply absorbed in one another and feel ecstatic about attaining their partner’s love and affection
Companionate Love
Deep affectionate attachment toward those whom our lives are deeply intertwined (warmth, dependability)
-Steady, warm afterglow after passionate love has faded; thrills and intensity has died down
“Rickety bridge” study (Dutton and Aron)
- Applied Schacter’s Two Factor Theory of Emotion to Feelings of Attraction
- Source of physiological arousal can be misattributed (My pulse is beating faster, I must really like this person)
Passion! Arousal! Bridges!
- More men called the research assistant when they were on the high bridge.
- Arousal led to accentuated romantic response
- Misattributed the source of the arousal to the woman
- Intensified and amplified the men’s response
