Listening Defined
Listening easily qualifies as the most important kind of communication. We spend more time listening than in any other type of communication. Listening is also important in terms of making relationships work. In committed relationships, listening to personal information in everyday conversations is considered a vital ingredient of satisfaction.
Passive listening
- reacting to others’ messages automatically, without much mental investment. It is superficial
- While passive listening may sound negative, this type of processing allows us to focus on messages that require careful attention.11 Plus, it’s impossible to listen to everything. The only realistic way to manage this onslaught of messages is to be “lazy” at times.
Active listening
- Giving careful and thoughtful attention and
responses to the messages we receive. - Paraphrases what an individual has said
- E.g., listening critically (evaluating and judging
messages)
Elements in the listening process: Hearing
is the physiological dimension of listening when sound waves strike the ear at a certain frequency and loudness. Can be influenced by background noise especially if they are loud or at the same frequency.
Elements in the listening process: Attending
attending is a psychological part of the selection process. The process of filtering out some messages and focusing on others.
Elements in the listening process: Understanding
occurs when sense is made of a message. Listening fidelity is the degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender intended to convey.
Elements in the listening process: Responding
giving observable feedback to a speaker, and while we don’t always respond visibly to a speaker, research suggests we should.
Elements in the listening process: Remembering
The ability to recall information, Unfortunately, we remember only 50 percent of what we hear immediately after hearing it, even if we work hard to listen.
Types of ineffective listening: Pseudolistening
an imitation of true listening in which the receiver’s mind is elsewhere. They look you in the eye, nod, and smile at the right times, and occasionally they even respond with an “uh huh.”
Types of ineffective listening: Stage-hogging
- a listening style in which the receiver is more concerned with making a point than with understanding the speaker.
- E.g., “You think your persuasion class is tough? You ought to try my communication theory class!”
Types of ineffective listening: Selective listening
a listening style in which receivers respond only to the messages that interest them. E.g., Consider how you feel when speakers only perk up when the conversation shifts to something that interests them.
Types of ineffective listening: Insulated listening
- a style in which the receiver ignores undesirable information.
- E.g., If reminded about an unfinished job or poor grades, they may nod and answer, but then promptly forget what you’ve just said.
Types of ineffective listening: Defensive Listening
a response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker’s comments as an attack. E.g., when teenagers take their parents’ questions about their friends and activities as distrustful snooping.
Types of ineffective listening: Ambushing
- a style in which the receiver listens carefully to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker.
- E.g., The cross-examining prosecution lawyer.
Types of ineffective listening: Incentive listening
- failure to recognize the thoughts or feelings that are not directly expressed by the speaker.
- E.g., you asked someone, “How’s it going?” The person answers by saying, “Oh, okay, I guess” in a dejected, depressed tone. You respond by saying, “Well, great! Catch you later.”
Why we don’t listen better: Message overload
We have face-to-face messages and personal media messages. This deluge of communication has made the challenge of attending tougher than at any time in human history, and it’s little wonder that listening can be difficult.
Why we don’t listen better: Preoccupation
we are often preoccupied with personal concerns. It’s hard to pay attention when you’re worrying about an upcoming exam.
Why we don’t listen better: Rapid Thought
The average person speaks between 100 and 150 words per minute, but we can process information at rates up to 600 words per minute. Thus, we have “spare time” in our minds, which we ultimately fill by thinking.
Why we don’t listen better: Effort
Listening effectively is hard work—so hard that physical changes actually occur during careful listening: The heart rate quickens, respiration increases, and body temperature rises.
Why we don’t listen better: External noise
the efficiency of your listening decreases when you are seated in a crowded, hot, stuffy room, surrounded by others talking next to you and with the roar of traffic noises outside. and you’re probably not surprised that classroom noise makes it difficult for some students to learn. (In addition, there is physiological and psychological noise as well).
Why we don’t listen better: Faulty assumptions
lead us to believe we’re listening attentively when quite the opposite is true. For instance, we are less likely to listen when the subject is a familiar one, when we assume the speaker’s thoughts are too simple or too complex, or when we think the topic is unimportant.
Why we don’t listen better: Lack of apparent advantages
It often seems that there’s more to gain by speaking than by listening. Furthermore, non-listeners are likely to find that the people they cut off are less likely to treat their ideas with respect.
Why we don’t listen better: Lack of training
listening is a skill. listening can be improved through instruction and training.
Why we don’t listen better: Hearing problems
Sometimes a person’s listening ability suffers from a physiological hearing problem. In such cases, both the person with the problem and others can become frustrated at the ineffective communication that results.
