midterm 1

Question 1

mottos

Answer 1

1. it’s okay to break up with nice decent people
2. just because you love someone forever does not mean that you will like them every day

Question 2

gospel framework on marriage

Answer 2

1. GOAL: knowledge of our destination
2. ATTITUDE: criteria to judge our circumstances
3. ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE: perspective through the process

Question 3

covenant marriage

Answer 3

• covenant between individuals and God, blessings unattainable in worldly marriages
• 100% from both partners (not 50%)
• more than just mutual benefit (family, eternal blessings)
• it’s not really about you .. at all

Question 4

elder bednar quote abt ultimate happiness

Answer 4

“…received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants.”

Question 5

marriage as a social institution

Answer 5

something that makes life organized and helps distribute resources - but marriage is slowly losing its institution state (deinstitutionalization)

Question 6

major culture changes that influence marriage

Answer 6

1. cohabitation
2. individualism
3. romanticism

Question 7

romanticism

Answer 7

• unrealistic expectations
• soulmate belief
• companionate marriage

Question 8

individualism

Answer 8

• individualized marriage: maximizing personal rewards and minimizing personal sacrifices

Question 9

doctrine vs. council

Answer 9

doctrine: formalized beliefs issued from the church, official church position
council: guiding teachings and suggestions from inspired general leaders intended for the whole world

Question 10

stages of gospel dating

Answer 10

1. group dating (16+)
2. paired-off dating (young adulthood)
3. long-term/marital dating (after paired off to find marital partner)

Question 11

gospel aspects of dating

Answer 11

1. partner selection
2. appropriate behavior
3. centrality of marriage

Question 12

marital virtues

Answer 12

1. friendship
2. loyalty
3. genorosity
4. fairness

Question 13

two types of commitment

Answer 13

1. constraint commitment (have to)
2. personal dedication (want to)

Question 14

three types of constraint commitment

Answer 14

1. perceived constraint - social pressure
2. material constraint - stuff
3. felt constraint - feeling trapped

Question 15

how does religion influence commitment

Answer 15

• internal testimony (buffered dissatisfaction)
• religious behaviors (decreased alternative seeking
• CLEAVING

Question 16

stewardships in equal partnerships

Answer 16

equal partnership doesn’t mean that everything is equally divided, but that the stewardships are well communicated and delegated

Question 17

gender idealogies

Answer 17

1. irrelevant gender - no differences between genders
2. independence - men and women should be completely independent of each other
3. separateness - men and women are basically two different species

Question 18

four constructs of true partnership

Answer 18

1. discipleship - learning from each other
2. divine institution - understanding stewardships & family roles
3. covenant - commitment
4. cleaving - sticking together

Question 19

two myths to avoid

Answer 19

1. tradition myth : marriage = hierarchy
2. liberal myth : marital equality = sameness

Question 20

issues lds couples face with sexual intimacy

Answer 20

• from worst to best
• only focusing on the “don’t”s of chastity instead of the “do”s

Question 21

sexual wholeness model

Answer 21

physical, emotional, and spiritual

Question 22

family of origin - tree metaphor

Answer 22

• families are the soil
• roots are intentional, why decide what we want to absorb from our families

Question 23

how do family experiences indirectly influence marital outcomes

Answer 23

experiences —> marital attitudes —> relational behavior —> outcomes

Question 24

types of family effects

Answer 24

1. indirect effects: the observations we make that are internalized (much more common)
2. direct effects: direct conversations about marriage/relationships with our families (much more powerful)

Question 25

intergenerational transmission

Answer 25

acquiring attitudes and values from parents or other family members to be transmitted to the next generation

Question 26

demographic risk factors (ex. divorce)

Answer 26

1. we all have them 2. think traffic signs - warning you for what’s coming 3. never deal breakers

Question 27

attachment

Answer 27

ability and anxiety surrounding getting close to others

Question 28

two types of attachment

Answer 28

1. anxiousness - desire for closeness and worry that a partner won’t fulfill needs 2. avoidant - discomfort w closeness and dependence on others

Question 29

attachment & marital outcomes

Answer 29

insecure: increased likelihood of singleness and divorce secure: increased satisfaction, stability, better communication & processes

Question 30

self-worth

Answer 30

perception of your own value to yourself, others, & society - aka self-esteem, body image, life satisfaction, perceived competence, identity - negative self talk - comparison stress

Question 31

romantic perfectionism

Answer 31

rigid and unrealistic expectations for yourself in relationships

Question 32

two types of readiness

Answer 32

objective: the same for everyone (regardless of partner/relationship) subjective: different for everyone (personal feelings, influence by partner)

Question 33

addiction

Answer 33

the compulsive need to do something

Question 34

three aspects of relationship formation

Answer 34

1. initial attraction 2. mutual evaluation 3. beginning commitment

Question 35

good flirting

Answer 35

- validation !!! - can be anything, what matters is context - non-verbal flirting is most powerful

Question 36

bad flirting

Answer 36

- slimy approach: physical focus - bad hygiene: look & smell - lack of focused interest: too many people

Question 37

three aspects of relationship growth

Answer 37

1. deepening commitment 2. establishment of interpersonal processes 3. evaluations of partner and relationship

Question 38

four areas of relationship progression (dials)

Answer 38

- knowing - trust - commitment - touch

Question 39

obstacles to relationship progression

Answer 39

- asymmetrical commitment - sliding - self-ejection