Chapter 4- Visitation

Question 1

A scheduled time when the deceased is presented for viewing in a casket so that family and friends may come together in an environment of mutual support to pay their last respects to the deceased. In some instances the deceased is in a closed casket with usually one or more photos of him/her on display.

Answer 1

Visitation (Wake, Calling Hours)

Question 2

• Used to be 2-5, 7-10 for three days
• Now is 2-4, 7-9 for one day
• More closed casket visitations or visitations without the body present than before
• A more personalized setting now
• The entire funeral is more reflective of the deceased’s life

Answer 2

Visitation has Changed Over the Years

Question 3

• Deceased is transferred to the funeral home
• Deceased is embalmed
• Arrangements with the deceased’s family
• Clothing brought from the family or purchased from the funeral home.

Answer 3

Pre-Visitation

Question 4

• Flowers
• Register book
• Prayer cards
• Donation envelope
• Newspaper notices
• Sign Board
• Music
• Tribute videos
• Memory tables
• Picture boards

Answer 4

Functional Details that the Staff Must Attend to Pre-Visitation:

Question 5

• Arrange and display these deliveries
• Place in correct room
• Closest family members’ arrangements placed nearest the casket
• Colors complement each other
• Save address cards

Answer 5

Flowers

Question 6

• Visitors sign names
• Contains information about the deceased and the services (completed before book is on stand)
• Pages for pallbearers, people attending, and people who sent flowers.
• Periodically checked to be sure there are enough pages for visitors to sign.

Answer 6

Register Book

Question 7

A card with the name and sometimes a picture of the decedent-service information and a prayer or verse on one side and a photo on the other side.

• Check before placing out that the information is correct.
• Place on register stand or nearby table

Answer 7

Prayer Cards

Question 8

If a charity has been listed in place of sending flowers, these must be available and displayed.

Answer 8

Donation Envelope

Question 9

Should be checked to ensure accurate spelling of names, and that the date, time, and location of the visitation, funeral, and committal service are correct.

Answer 9

Newspaper Notices

Question 10

Displays the name of the deceased and possibly the time and date of the service. This should be made up before the visitation begins and placed in a location where guests at the visitation can see it.

Answer 10

Sign Board

Question 11

If the funeral home uses this in the background, it should be playing and the loudness adjusted to the preferred level.

Answer 11

Music

Question 12

• Family gives meaningful photos to the funeral director
• Made in house or photos sent out to a company to make this
• If the family is using this, it should be set up in the room prior to the family’s arrival.

Answer 12

Tribute Videos

Question 13

A small table available for the family to display meaningful memorabilia representative of the deceased’s life. Often includes photos, trophies, awards, or service medals. If it has been a cremation, the urn containing the cremains may be on this.

Answer 13

Memory Tables

Question 14

Attractive boards that display pictures selected by the family. They are placed in the visitation room in a conspicious location. Often the family will take this home with them after the arrangement conference. They will fit it with photos and display it during visitation when it is placed on an easel.

• Used by almost all funeral homes

Answer 14

Picture Boards

Question 15

Perhaps the most emotinally charged part of the funeral process. In some instances this may be the first time members of the family have seen the person dead.

• Should be a family affair
• Family should have at least an hour
• Funeral director should be prepared for any kind of reaction- sobbing, intense crying.
• Staff members should be visible for when the family arrives
• Staff member should walk up to them and introduce themselves and express sympathy
• Ask about flowers funeral home supplied
• Show them prayer cards
• Help arrange displays
• Tell the family you are there to help them

Answer 15

First Viewing

Question 16

Can lessen the fear and anxiety some people may be experiencing.

Answer 16

Being Immediately Visible

Question 17

1. Lead the family into the room
2. Escort the family

Answer 17

Two Effective Ways to Approach the Family’s Entrance into the Room for First Visitation

Question 18

Proceed right up to the casket in a natural manner and then step back and indicate that they may now come forward.

• Step back, but do not leave immediately
  
  • your assistance might be needed if someone hs questions or becomes emotionally overwrought
  • Listen for comments on the appearance of the deceased, casket, or flowers.

Answer 18

Lead the Family Into the Room

Question 19

Get half way to the casket and stay in the background as they approach the casket. Listen for comments you may need to ask or act on.

• Wait for things to calm down and then approach the family with a question.
• Make adjustments if necessary
• If moving the deceased is involved in the adjustment, have the family leave the room.

Answer 19

Escort the Family

Question 20

• Should be encouraged but never forced to attend visitation and funeral
• Should be prepared for what to expect
• Parents should have first viewing before children enter
• Parent should walk child to casket and hold their hand
• Asked if they would like to move closer or touch the deceased
• Answer any questions
• Best to bring the child when there are not too many people in the room

Answer 20

Children’s First Visit

Question 21

• Most common times are between 2pm and 9pm one or two days before the funeral
• Some families choose to have a shortened visitation 1 or 2 hours before the funeral
• Assist visitors with coats
• Best to walk people to the room or use a hand gesture (no pointing)
• Check the deceased and flowers periodically
• Do not distrub the family if they are busy, chat with them if they are alone

Answer 21

Public Visitation

Question 22

• Mass cards or memorial donation envelopes
• Music
• Flowers
• Car list

Answer 22

Duties of People Working Visitation

Question 23

A preprinted card or envelope used by Catholics to request a mass to be said for the deceased.

Answer 23

Mass Cards

Question 24

Give the person the envelope and ask if he or she would like to use an empty office, room or convenient desk to fill it out. Suggest that the envelope be given directly to the family or put on or in the cardholder (since it does usually involve money).

Answer 24

Donation Envelopes

Question 25

* Try to fulfill requests for special music brought in * Can add to the personalization of the visitation and can be conforting for the family. * Necessary to have a music system with speakers that can be adjusted so a family in another visitation room won't be disturbed * Portable system can be used directly in the room.

Answer 25

Music

Question 26

* Suggest the family take home any table vases or arrangements they wish to keep, this helps avoid extra work for the family after the funeral * Ask about what the family wishes to do with these after the funeral * Ask about donation * Explain local customs or the funeral home's policy addressing the delivery of these.

Answer 26

Flowers

Question 27

A list stating how cars should be arranged in the cortege on the day of the funeral. * May need to sit with the family to help create * Local customs and funeral home policy will determine how extensive this list is * Make and color of each car with the names of those riding in it

Answer 27

Car List

Question 28

In many areas it is a practice for the Clergy officiating the funeral service to visit the family at the visitation. * If there is a prayer service, escort the clergy to a private room to prepare themself * If they have not met the family, introduce them before the service * Announce them before the service * Provide assistance if needed * Clergy card and honorarium check can be given at this time if they are completed * A staff member should stand in a position outside the room during the service to notify any visitors entering that a service is in progress.

Answer 28

Clergy Attendance

Question 29

* Customary for Catholic families * Differs with each funeral home * Our Father and Hail Mary are common and the funeral home staff member usually leads this if there is no clergy person in the room. * Ask if the family would like this 10 minutes before they leave * Assure them they do not have to leave at the time stated in the death notice unless it is policy * General announcement can be made * Convenient way to direct the family towards leaving at the appropriate time

Answer 29

End of Evening Prayer

Question 30

* Night before the funeral- verify with the family any instructions they have regarding what is to be left in the casket and what is to be removed when the casket is closed at the funeral.- written form * Assist family with coats * Help carry out flower arrangements * Briefly summarize important details of the funeral if it is the next day- when to arrive, procedures * Nice gesture to escort family to their cars * Do not turn off parking lot lights untill everyone has left the lot.

Answer 30

Before the Family Leaves

Question 31

* Some funeral homes have chapels- move the casket and flowers * Service in visitation room- set up (usually in rows) chairs- always err on the high side * Empty ash trays in a fire safe container * Set alarms * Notify telephone answering service * Turn off lights and lock doors

Answer 31

Preparations For the Funeral

Question 32

Each funeral home has its own policies. * Find out reasoning for this request * Consent form signed and may have to be tailored specifically for each individual situation * Decide on charges

Answer 32

Viewing Without Embalming