Chapter 7

Question 1

What Is Love?

Answer 1

Difficult to define

• special attitudes behaviorally and emotionally
• varies with people and difficult to measure

Question 1

Rubin’s Triple Love Scale

Answer 1

• Attachment
• Caring
• Intimacy

Question 2

Types of Love

Answer 2

• Passionate Love
• Companionate Love
• Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
• Lee’s Style of Loving

Question 3

Passionate Love (Short Lasting)

Answer 3

Extreme absorption in another; also romantic love

• characterized by intense feelings of tenderness, anxiety, and sexual desire
• physiological arousal including increased heartbeat, blushing, stomach churning, perspiration, and excitement
• occurs early in the relationship (months not years)
• look over one’s faults and avoid conflicts

Question 4

Companionate Love (Long Lasting)

Answer 4

Friendly affection and deep attachment by appreciation of one’s partner

• tolerance for one’s faults and overcome them together
• sex is what pleases your companion, which builds communication
• less intense

Question 5

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (Further look of Passionate and Companionate Love)

Answer 5

• Passion
• Intimacy
• Commitment

Question 6

Triangle Of Love Extended

Answer 6

• Liking (Intimacy Alone)
• Infatuation (Passion Alone)
• Empty Love (Commitment Alone)
• Romantic Love (Intimacy/Passion)
• Companionate Love (Intimacy/Commitment)
• Fatuous Love (Passion/Commitment)

Consummate Love (Intimacy/Passion/Commitment)

Question 7

Passion (Excitement)

Answer 7

Motivational component that fuels romantic feelings, physical attraction, and desire for sexual interaction
- starts high then decreases rapidly through time to a low constant state

Question 8

Intimacy (Sharing)

Answer 8

Emotional component of love encompassing sense of being bonded with another person
- constant growth through time

Question 9

Commitment (Dedicated)

Answer 9

Thinking component of loving another to maintain a relationship over time despite difficulties
- slow start and grows rapidly through time to remain at a high constant state

Question 10

Lee’s Style of Loving

Answer 10

Six different styles of loving:

• romantic (Eros)
• game-playing (Ludus)
• possessive (Mania)
• companionate (Storge)
• altruistic (Agape)
• pragmatic (Pragma)

Question 11

Falling In Love

Answer 11

Neurotransmitters

• norepinephrine (breathing increases)
• dopamine (affects mood)
• phenylethylamine (chocolate high)

Hormones
- oxytocin (cuddling)

There can be a withdrawal of all of this

Question 12

Proximity

Answer 12

Geographic nearness of one person to another, which is an important factor in a interpersonal attraction

Question 13

Mere Exposure Effect

Answer 13

Phenomenon in which explains to us why we are attracted to people in proximity to us

Question 14

Similarity

Answer 14

Beliefs, interests, race, ethnicity, and values, which is a factor in attracting people to one another

Question 15

Reciprocity

Answer 15

When we receive expressions of liking or loving, we tend to respond the same

• increases self-esteem
• increases relationship length

Question 16

Physical Attractiveness

Answer 16

Physical beauty, which is a powerful factor in attracting lovers to each other

• early stage of a relationship
• good physical health

Question 17

Sociobiology

Answer 17

Behavior explained by evolutionary needs

• Men attracted to young attractive females to maximize reproductive success
• Women attracted to older, established men to maximize their reproductive success

Question 18

Self-Love

Answer 18

• Genuine interest, concern, respect for self

- Before a satisfying relationship with others

Question 19

Attachment

Answer 19

Intense emotional tie between two individuals
- Secure Attachment: trust the person, and understand them
- Insecure Attachment: Two Types
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment: think they’ll leave and never come back/ don’t care as much, passive aggressive
Avoidant-Attachment: afraid and avoidant

Question 20

Hook-Ups

Answer 20

Short-term, loveless sexual connections that occur during a brief time
- issue between love and sex

Question 21

Friends With Benefits Relationships

Answer 21

Sexual interaction between friends who do not define their relationship as romantic

• desire a transition into a stable, romantic relationship
• issue between love and sex

Question 22

Phases Of A Relationship

Answer 22

Inclusion: invitation to relate
Response: agreeing to relate
Care: concern for others' welfare
Trust: support and care for each other
Affection: warmth and attachment
Playfulness: delight in each other
Genitality: decision to engage in sex

Question 23

Sex And Relationships On Your Terms

Answer 23

• Knowing and asking for what you want
• Friendships without sex
• Saying “not yet” to sex
• Ending a relationship
• Managing rejection
• You just want to have sex

Question 24

Jealousy

Answer 24

Emotional reaction caused by a real or imagined relationship involving one's partner and a third person - fear of losing what they want to control, than fall in love

Question 25

Women Jealousy

Answer 25

- jealous of her partner's emotional involvement with another - blame themselves - more inclined about jealousy then men

Question 26

Men Jealousy

Answer 26

- jealousy of his partner's sexual involvement with another - jealousy goes to third party or to their partner's behavior - provoke jealousy less than women

Question 27

Lasting Love Relationships

Answer 27

- Your partner is your best friend - Communication between one another - Companionship by sharing your interests and doing many activities together - Sexual sharing and sexual attraction to your partner

Question 28

Sexual Variety: Important Ingredient

Answer 28

- Communication in change for the two of you - Make love in various places - Planning and spur of the moment love is exciting and bonding full

Question 29

Mutual Empathy

Answer 29

Each partner in a relationship care for the other and knows that the care is shared

Question 30

Communication: Getting Started

Answer 30

- Talking about sex - Reading and discussing - Sharing sexual histories

Question 31

Listening and Feedback

Answer 31

- Active listener - Maintain eye contact - Provide feedback - Support partner's communication efforts - Express unconditional positive regard

Question 32

Discovering Your Partner's Needs

Answer 32

- Asking questions - Self-disclosure - Discussing sexual preferences - Giving permission

Question 33

Yes/No Question

Answer 33

Question that asks for a one word answer and thus provides little opportunity for discussing an issue

Question 34

Open-Ended Question

Answer 34

Question that allows a respondent to share and feelings or information she or he thinks is appropriate

Question 35

Either-Or Question

Answer 35

Question that allows statement of preference

Question 36

Self-Disclosure

Answer 36

- personal disclosures require give and take - open up to partner about how you feel on sex - internet relationships reveal dishonesty and no physical attractiveness

Question 37

Discussing Sexual Preferences

Answer 37

- this draws a couple closer to finding out their pleasure able activities - might discuss their feelings after sex

Question 38

Giving Permission

Answer 38

Providing reassurance to one's partner that it is okay to talk about specific feelings or needs

Question 39

Making Requests

Answer 39

- Taking responsibility for our own pleasure - Making requests specific - Using "I" language

Question 40

Strategies For Expressing Complaints

Answer 40

- Choose the right time and place - Temper complaints with praise - Avoid "Why" questions - Express negative emotions appropriately - One complaint per discussion

Question 41

Receiving Complaints

Answer 41

- Acknowledge a complaint and find something to agree with - Ask clarifying questions - Express your feelings - Focus on future changes you can make

Question 42

Three-Step Approach To Saying No

Answer 42

1. Express appreciation for the invitation 2. Say no in a clear fashion 3. Offer an alternative if able to

Question 43

Nonverbal Sexual Communication

Answer 43

- Facial expressions - Interpersonal distance - Touching - Sounds

Question 44

Gottman's Constructive Communications Tactice

Answer 44

- Leveling and Editing - Validating - Volatile Dialogue

Question 45

Gottman's Destructive Communication Tactics

Answer 45

- Criticism - Contempt - Defensiveness - Stonewalling - Belligerence

Question 46

Three Chemicals Effect Perception of Love

Answer 46

- Endorphine - Hormones - Neurotransmitters