Would you say you’re emotionally intelligent? (1)
I’m probably on the far right of the emotional intelligence bell curve. I’ve spent more than a year of my life total on silent meditation retreats. And I’ve done more than 1,000 therapy sessions. But I’m still tripping over my own mistakes constantly. So no promises I’m any less problematic than any other human being out there. The one thing I can guarantee is this: I’m probably as committed to learning from my mistakes as anyone can be. You can count on that. Otherwise, I’m just a shit show like everybody else.
Compliment Techniques (6)
- Avoid things they cant choose, like eyes
- Avoid things everyone prob compliments them on
- Choose thing they have put lots of effort into. Or careful decision.
- Choose subtle, detailed things
- Add “it makes me…” to the end
- Compliment other people around you to your date. Or compliment other people in front of your date.
Break the 4th wall (3)
- We just got totally lost in doing blah blah blah
- Omg has this gotten tragically awkward
- Did you just _____??? I love that you just did that!
Other People’s Stories List (funniest or most shocking)
1.
My Stories (I’m fun & Exciting) (4)
- Cuba
- Splitting pants in prison
- Alaska Thunderfuck
- House party room @ Coachella
My Stories (Wanted Man) (3)
- One of my few one night stands was bc Erin & Ian. (Haven’t had one since my 20s I prefer a two-week stand if anything)
- Girl flirting w me w her eyes while at dinner w her dad…. It was not her dad.
- ## Callie changing contacts with “Jess<3<3<3”
Bantering (2)
- Follow up with a question that is an alleyoop for a joke. Don’t make a joke, set them up for one.
- Misconstrue things to give voice to their repressed parts. If they are snarky, misconstrue things as earnest and show them you feel deeply move and loved and supported. Too much and it’ll seem mean though. Or if they’re innocent and earnest, take pantomime offense.
Make-Out Talk (6)
- “Do you want to feel my hands on you?”
- “I love the way you ____ [something she just did]”
- “Do you want more neck kisses or hair pulls?”
- “Promise to tell me if you don’t like something or soemthing makes you uncomfortable, okay?”
- “I can’t read your mind so be brave and tell me if you want me to do something”
- “What’s something you love that a nice guy would never do without asking you?’
Keeping her out of her head during makeout (5)
- “Say the body part that’s feeling the most pleasure out loud.”;”if it’s your neck say ‘neck’”; “Next…”;”Okay I’ll show you ‘hands, lips, thigh’” [resistance] “just try it” “good”, “good” “keep going” “I love that”
- “Now say the body part of mine you’re most aware of”
- “Will you breath next to my ear?”
- “Will you put your hands on my chest” “that feels so good”
- “Do you find me attractive? What about me?”, “That’s hot to hear you say it out loud”, “what else?”
Be the evaluator (being won over) (3)
- “What do you think about that?” (eye contact with smile). Listening + frown/furrow & nod.
- “I think I like that”, “I think I agree with you”, “We might be similar.”
- “Would you kiss a guy if there was chemistry even if he wasn’t right for you?”
- 5.
Quick Responses to tests (4)
- Rude: “Attitude, that’s fun”
- Rude: “Was that a put down?”… “Well I don’t think you said it too seriously”, “If you were serious it would be very childlike… but possibly in a cute way”.
- Criticism, or judgy “Oh, you’re afraid to be ____?”.. “You would never let yourself be ____?”… “Well that’s where all judgements come from”
- Lusty/naughty “We’re still in public”
Tonight Consent Comms (3)
- What do you enthusiastically want to happen tonight? (Let’s assume that we waved a magic want and I automatically wanted everything you want, I can decline later of course)
- I love taking the lead wherever I can: What do you hope I’ll take the lead on?
- I want you to be fully present and unworried: Are there anything you know you’d rather not have happen tonight? (That would be nice to get out there so you don’t have to have it in the back of your mind?)
- 10.
