1
Q
What is the best way to conceptualize intimacy?
A
- As a quality of persons
- Intimacy motivation: recurrent preference or drive for close interactions with others
2
Q
Promoting Intimacy Involves
A
- Relationship maintenance
- Intimacy Process Model
- Individual Differences
3
Q
Relationship Maintenance
A
Behaviors thoughts that promote staying together and remaining satisfied
4
Q
Intimacy Process Model
A
- Disoclosures can vary in degree of intimacy (“facts” vs. cognitive and emotional reactions to events)
- Individual differences
5
Q
Individual differences
A
people come from collectivist cultures may not want to burden their partner with disclosures
6
Q
Empathy
A
- Empathy accuracy
- Percieving partner is trying to be empathetic (empathetic effort) is also associated with relationship with satisfaction (Cohen et al, 2012)
7
Q
Empathetic Accuracy
A
“Ability to accurately infer the specific content of another person’s thoughts and feelings” (Ickes, 1993, p. 588)
– Meta-analysis of relationship satissfaction (Sened et al., 2017): k =21, r =.14, p
8
Q
Maintaining intimacy
A
- shared activities
- Social support
- capitalization
- forgiveness
9
Q
Shared activities
A
Self-expansion
- as people learn about each other, they gain knowledge and resources, expanding their sense of self
- – self-expansion adds to relationship satisfactions
- —–Once people know each other well, it is difficutl to maintian self expansion
- ——Engaging in new and novel activities with one’s partner can foster self-expansion
10
Q
Types of Social Support
A
- invisible social support
- visible social support
11
Q
Invisible social support
A
support that partners are not aware is given
- can be totally out of awareness or not recognized as support because is subtly given
- –Is most strongly associated positive relationship functioning
- —Provides partners with the benefit of help without causing them to question their abilities
12
Q
visible social support
A
support that partners are aware of
13
Q
Communicating social support (Pasch and Bradbury 1988): Task
A
Helpee: talk about something you would like to change about yourself
Helper: be involved in the discussion and respond in whatever way you wish
14
Q
Communicating social support (Pasch and Bradbury 1988): Outcomes
A
Social support behavior predicted marital outcomes 2 years later, controlling conflict behavior
15
Q
Capitalization
A
Sharing of positive events in one’s life with one’s partner (Gable et al., 2004)
– Relive events, see others are happy for us and view us favorably, and link event with prior events in the relationship
16
Q
Capitalization findings
A
- active-constructive strategies associated with greater intimacy
- destructive and passive strategies associated with less intimacy
17
Q
Other findings with Capitalization
A
- capitalization increases positive emotions subjective well-being & self-esteem and decreases lonliness; liking, closeness & stability (Gable & Reis, 2010)
- Capitalization attempts (sharing best event of the day) and capitalization associated with better relationship well-being in women with breast cancer and their partners (Otto et. al., 2015)
18
Q
Components of Forgiveness
A
- Motivation on an intrapersonal level
- Behavior on an interpersonal level
- Both ingredients to be present for full forgiveness
- Silent forgiveness
- hollow forgiveness
19
Q
- Motivation on an interpersonal level
A
The wronged partner wants to be kind to the other person, rather than feel anger and a desire for vengeance
20
Q
Behavior, on an interpersonal level:
A
The wronged partner lets the other know he or she no longer feels anger or a desire for vengeance
21
Q
Silent forgivenes
A
If there is a change in intrapersonal motivation but no change in interpersonal behavior
22
Q
Hollow forgiveness
A
If there is a change in interpersonal behavior but no change in intrapersonal motivation
23
Q
Forgiveness is more likely if
A
- the transgression was minor
- victim is empathetic, agreeable, emotionally stable (ie. low level of neuroticism), and has secure attachment style
- the transgresor apologies
- the relationship contains a high level of commitment
24
Q
Phases of forgiveness
A
Impact
Meaning
Moving on
25
Phases of forgiveness: impact
the victim absorbs what happened and how the transgressor acted
26
Phases of forgiveness: meaning
the victim tries to find an explanation for the transgresion
27
Phases of forgiveness: moving on
the victim moves past the transgression
28
Impact of forgiveness
- When partner misbehaves rarely and deserves to be forgiven, forgiveness improves well-being of forgiving partner and the rlationship
- when the partner is unrepentant, forgiveness can be detrimental to forgiving partner and the relationship
29
Sex and Physical Intimacy
- cross-sectional associations between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction
- longitudinal associations between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction
- - physical intimacy leads to relationships satisfaction
- - relationship satisfaction leads to physical intimacy
30
Common problem for couples seeking couple therapy (Whisman et al., 1977)
- survey of randomly selecting practicing couple and family therapists
- rated list of relationship problems on how common, damaging and difficult
- communication was the most common presenting problem
- --therapists viewed this as a problem for >85% of couples
31
Conflict arises when one person pursues goals in a way that interferes with a person's goals (Lewin, 1948)
- Conflict is inevitable
| - Responses to conflict can vary
32
Conflict arises when one person pursues goals in a way that interferes with a person's goals (Lewin, 1948) : Conflict is inevitable
- Moods and preferences of partners occasionally differ
- Partners often experience opposing motivations - fulfilling one will contradict the other
- ---Autonomy vs. connection (independence vs. intimacy)
- --- Openness vs. closedness (self-disclosure vs. privacy)
- --- Stability vs. change
- --- Integration vs. Separation (time spent with vs. apart from other people)
33
Responses to conflict can vary
- how people respond to conflict (rather than whether they conflict on the topics of their conflict) is a key aspect of relationship functioning
- as unresolved conflicts accumulate, negative interactions outnumber positive interactions, resulting in relationship distress
34
Assessments of conflict
Self report
Quasi-observational
Observational
35
Assessments of conflict -- Self report
Communication patterns questionnaire
- rate on a scale of 1 (very unlikely) to 9 (ver likely)
- When some problem in the relationship arises
- ---Mutual discussion : both members try to discuss the problem
- ---Mutual blame: both members, blame, accuse and criticize each other
- ----mutual threat: both members threaten each other with negative consequences
- ----Mutual negotiation: both member suggest possible solutions and compromises
36
Quasi-observational (People observing their own behavior)
- Diary studies
| - measures such as Partner/ Spouse Observation Checklist
37
Observational assessment of conflict : problem solving interaction
- Couples are videotaped, usually in lab, while discussing ongoing problem areas
- most common areas of disagreement (Papp et al, 2009)
- --Children
- --Chores
- --Communication
- --Leisure
- Trained coders view videotapes and code interactions using detailed coding system
- -- Importance of inter-rater agreement (Inter rater reliability ) on ratings
38
Observational assessment of conflict : Base rates
Categories of behavior (Woodin, 2011)
- Typology of behavior based
- Meta-analysis of 64 studies of communication and concurrent relationship satisfaction (N= 5.017 couples )
```
hostility = d = -.64
withdrawl = d = -.28
distress = d= -.28
problem solving = d =.55
intimacy = d= .48
```
39
Observational assessment of conflict : sequences of behavior
- Conflict behavior in distressed in relationships in more predictable
- Distressed couples engage in longer cycles of negative reciprocity
(ex. when your partner criticizes you, you criticize them back
- Demand withdraw pattern
----One person criticizes or requests change while partner withdraws and becomes defensive
(Can result in partners becoming polarized, making it more difficult to resolve differences/conflict
-----Women tend to want more in relationships and therefore are more likely to be in demanding role
(however when discussing the changes they want men are more likely to be in the demanding role
- Importance of partner perceptions of interactions
---Role of encoding (intent) and decoding (impact)
-------Distressed couples are similar to non-distressed couples in intent but differ from non-distressed couples in impact
40
Meta analysis of observational assessment of conflict
- Mean r =.36 across 74 studies N= 14.255 measuring relational, communicative individual (including wellness) variables (Shrodt et al. 2014)
(similar results regardless of whether man or woman is in the demanding role
- Mean r -.32 across 20 studies (N = 4.192) measuring relationship satisfaction and -.33 across 11 studies (N = 2,160) measuring communication satisfaction (Burell et al., 2014)
41
Physiological responses to conflict (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2003)
i. Stress hormones assessed before and after conflict interactions
- --Higher levels of stress hormones were associated with declines in satisfaction and greater probability of relationship dissolution
42
Managing differences applications
aggression
create a safe and secure environment for discussing conflict
- importance of "soft start ups"
- Importance of "cognitive editing"(responding to negative partner behavior with enutral or positive behavior [ not negative behavior]
- importance of not withdrawing (try not to avoid conflict)
- importance of self- soothing (e.g. taking a break, relax) to avoid escalation of negative affect
- importance of non-defensive listening (respect and validation (recognizing other person's point of view))
43
Intimate Partner Violence Assessment : Conflict Tactics Scale
- Verbal reasoning
- verbal aggression
- Minor aggression
- severe aggression
- Limitations
44
CTS2 (straus et al. 1996)
Revised some items, added new items and scales (sexual coercion, physical injury)
45
Intimate Partner Violence Assessment : Conflict Tactics Scale
Threat to internal validity
Social desirability
46
Intimate partner violence : Types of aggression
Johnson's (1995, 2000) typology
Common situational couple violence
- Reactive to frustration and hostility
- rates slightly higher or women than men
(Men more likely to injure partner)
- Intimate terrorsm
(Proactive to intimidate and control partner)
- Violent Resistance (self- defense)
(One person engaging in violence against the other
- mutual violent agression
47
Intimate Partner Violence : Stability of aggression
- Severe aggression is highly stable over time (Huesmann et al., 1984)
(comparable to IQ)
( Severe aggression is resistant to change)
- Situational couple violence in one relationship doesn't necessarily carry over to another relationship
48
Intimate Partner Violence : Consequences
- Relationship satisfaction
- Mental Health Outcomes
- Costs to society
49
Intimate Partner Violence : Consequences
Relationship satisfaction
Meta-Analysis (Stith et al, 2008)
- Perpetration (k= 37) : r = -27
- Victimization (k= 12): r= .41 for women and .-30for men
50
Intimate Partner Violence : Consequences
Mental Health Outcomes
Met Analysis of Intimate partner violence and mental health ( k= 41; Trevillion et al., 2012)
- Depressive disorders: OR (odds ratio) = 2.77 (95% CI = 1.86, 3.92)
- Anxiety Disorders: OR = 4.08 (Ci = 2.39, 6.97)
- PTSD: OR 7.34 ( 95% CI = 4.50, 11.98)
51
Intimate Partner Violence : Consequences
Costs to society
- medical care
- mental health services
- lost productivity from injury, premature death
52
Intimate Partner Violence: Exploratory Models
```
- Sociocultural perspectives
(Better at explaining intimate partner terrorist by men)
- Interpersonal perspectives
(Bilateral)
- Interindividual perspectives
```
53
Intimate Partner Violence : Risk factors for perpatrators
Demographic characteristics
- younger age
- unemployment and lower income
- member of racial, ethnic minority group
- higher levels of stress
54
Intimate Partner Violence : Risk factors for perpatrators
Family Risk Factors
- Exposure to intimate partner violence between parents
- experience of child abuse
- parenting factors (positive involvement, encouragement of nonviolent behavior reduced risk )
55
Intimate Partner Violence : Risk factors for perpatrators
Peer associations and influences
Involvement and influences
- Conduct problems/ antisocial behavior
- Depression
- Alcohol/ drugsuse
56
Intimate Partner Violence : Risk factors for perpatrators
Relationship factors
Relationship status (married individuals at lowest risk)
57
Intimate Partner Violence : Risk factors for victim
- depression
| - fear of future abuse
58
Intimate Partner Violence : treatment
- Outcomes 1/3 women stayed in abusive partnerships for 2 1/2 years (Capbell et al., 1994)
- Shelters (most common treatment for women)
59
Intimate Partner Violence : treatment
for perpetrators
Traditional treatment
- Based on assumption that primary cause of violence is societal sanctioning of men's use of power and control over women
- Treatment focuses on consciousness- raining exercises to challenge man's percieved right to control/dominate partner
- they do not appear effective
(Babcock et al. (2004) meta-analysis
---Effective size (d) of 0.9 and .12 for recidivism for partner report and police report respectively
60
Intimate Partner Violence : treatment
for perpetrators
Cognitive behavior therapy
- anger management
- stress reduction and relaxation
- cognitive restructuring
- communication training
61
Belief and Values:
Lay theories
Beliefs vs. Values
Beliefs and values about self, partner, and relationship
62
Belief and Values:
Lay theories
General Lay theories
People's ideas about relationships overall
63
Belief and Values:
Lay theories
Specific Lay Theories
People's ideas about a particular relationship
64
Relationship of Beliefs :
| Types of beliefs
Personae
Scripts
"if then" contingencies
65
Relationship of Beliefs : Types of beliefs
Personae
Beliefs about someone (e.g. self and partner's character, personality , role)
66
Relationship of Beliefs : Types of Beliefs
| Scripts
Beliefs about sequences of behavior or events
67
Relationship of Beliefs : Types of beliefs
| if then contingencies
eg if i ask my partner for help, then...
68
Beliefs and Values: General Relationship beliefs
Implicit relationship beliefs
- "destiny" theorists: emphasize romantic ideal of finding the right partner
- Crossing beliefs about the importnace of romantic love with beliefs about the capacity for relationships to grow
- specific relationship beliefs
69
Beliefs and Values: General Relationship beliefs
Implicit relationship beliefs
Relationships are fixed
Story book fantasy
- passion is the reustl of fate or chemistry
- --Romance and passion are most important
Utilitarian involvement
- relationships are like business arrangements whose terms are not negotiable
- ----practical concerns are most important
70
Beliefs and Values: General Relationship beliefs
Implicit relationship beliefs
Relationships grow
Long term bliss
- passion can be nurtured or developed over time
- -- romance and passion are most important
Friends/ companions (relationships grow)
- couples grow closer and more interdependent over time
- ---practical concerns are most important
71
Beliefs and Values: General Relationship beliefs
Specific Relationship Beliefs
Expectations
Beliefs about the future of a specific relationship, often based on general beliefs
- locus of control regarding relationship: power to change relationship lies within self (internal)
(you probably try to talk to your partner)
- vs external sources (external)
(Ehh its probably not meant to be )
- Relationship efficacy: How much you and your partner will be able to solve future problems
72
Beliefs and Values:
Values
Attitudes
Positive or negative evaluations of someone or something (e.g. marriage, premarital sex, extramarital sex, division of labor, gender roles/ responsibilities)
73
Beliefs and Values:
Values
standards
Values that serve as a measure for evaluating something or someone
- minimum requirements for satisfaction with a relationship
- Can be conceptualized as a comparison level
- Relationship oriented standards
- -Independence and boundaries
- - Exercising control
- - Sharing power/ control (egalitarianism)
- - Expression of love and affection
- - Sacrifices
74
Beliefs and Values:
Values
Ideals
What a person hopes dreams or wishes for
75
Beliefs and Values:
Values
More likely to find differences across people in standards than in idals
Similarities in ideal partner (e.g. healthy, attractive, sensitive, responsive, capable of intimacy, high stats, material wealth) and ideal relationship (e.g. high levels of passion, commitment, intimacy)
76
Beliefs and Values:
Values
Beliefs and values affect our evaluations
- People evaluate their relationship against their beliefs and values
- Ideal standards model
- -The more people's current relationship differs from their ideals, the less satisfied they are with the relationship
- - early dissatisfaction predicts breakups for destiny but not growth theorists
77
Beliefs and Values Affect How we interpret Relationship Events
- Beliefs and values influence how we interpret partner's behavior
- - Perceptual confirmation: percieving partner behaving in ways that fit your belief or expectation of how they will behave
- --- Rejection sensitivity (Downy and Feldman, 1996)
78
Unrealistic Relationship Beliefs
Unrealistic (dysfunctional) relationships beliefs
- Stronger endorsement of these beliefs are likely to result in disappointment and lower relationship quality
- The relationship belief inventory measures five beliefs thought to be unrealistic and consequently dysfunctional for intimate relationships
I. Disagreement is destructive
II. Mind-reading is expected
III. Partners cannot change
IV. sexual perfectionism
V. The sexes are different
79
Origins of Beliefs and Values
Culture
- Culture differs in courtship and marriage traditions
- Cultures differ in their emphasis on importance of love
- - Cultures with lower economic standards lower economic standards of living place less emphasis on love
80
Origins of beliefs and values
Media
Romantic ideals are popular in romantic comedies (Hefner and Wilson, 2013)
- Prevalence of specific romantic ideals
- -- Soul mates (38%)
- -- Idealization of other (30%)
- -- Love conquers all (25%)
- -- Love at first sight (7%)
- Prevalence of >0 ideal (98%; every 14 minutes)
- At film level, 82% were classified as love conquers all and 18% as soul mate
- Although challenges to ideals were common (98% every 8 minutes), ideals were generally rewarded
- Exposure to watching movies positively correlated with romantic ideals
81
Origins of beliefs and values
Media
- liking of romance-oriented media (i.e. TV shows, movies) associated with belief in predestined soul mates (r = .27) and mind reading is expected ( r= .21 (Holmens, 2007)
- viewing of romantic TV programs
82
Origins of beliefs and values
| Personal experience
- people with divorced parents have different views of marriage than people with married parents
- - those with divorced parent were less optimistic about marriage less likely to expect truest a future partner (Franklin et al., 1900)
83
What is a healthy way to think about a relationship?
Benefits of positive expectations?
High expectations may come with processes such as perceptual and behavioral confirmation
84
What is a healthy way to think about a relationship?
Benefits of negative expectations?
People may be disappointed if their expectations are too high are not met
85
What is a healthy way to think about a relationship?
Realistic, positive expectations seem to be ideal, in terms of their association with relationship satisfaction
- People with expectations that are positive, but not so positive that they can't be met, tend to be most satisfied
- - May be because they are more willing to put greater effort into relationship maintenance
- Expectations with respects to factors that are out of one's control or ability are best kept lower
86
Five factor model for Personality
```
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Conscioustness
Neuroticism
Openness
```
87
Strongest predictors for longitudinal association between personality and relationship satisfaction
- Husband neuroticism
- Husband impulse control
- Wife's neuroticism
Intimate Relationships
flashcards
Decks in class (3)
# Cards
