1
Q
fundamental basis of attraction
A
a matter of rewards
2
Q
two types of rewards influence attraction
A
direct rewards, indirect rewards
3
Q
direct rewards
A
obviously receive from our interaction with others
4
Q
indirect rewards
A
not always aware of and that are merely associated with someone else
5
Q
instrumentality
A
the extent to which someone can help us get what we currently want
6
Q
proximity
A
- often determines whether or not we ever meet them in the first place
- more often than not, friendships and romances grow out of interactions with those who are nearby
7
Q
mere exposure
A
usually increases our liking for someone
8
Q
disadvantages regarding proximity
A
- when people who have come to know each other online meet in person for the first time
- when partners in long-distance relationships are reunited after some time apart
9
Q
when first encountered, physically attractive people are presumed to be…
A
interesting, sociable people who are likely to encounter personal and professional success in love and life
- assume that attractive people have desirable traits such as agreeableness, extraversion, and conscientiousness
10
Q
women are more attractive if
A
- they have “baby-faced” features such as large eyes, a small nose, a small chin, and full lips
- appear feminine and youthful
- combine those baby-faced features with signs of maturity such as prominent cheekbones, narrow cheeks, and a broad smile
- long eyelashes
11
Q
men are thought to be handsome when
A
they have strong jaws and broad foreheads and look strong and dominant
12
Q
good-looking faces in both sexes
A
- have features that are neither too large nor too small
- average
- symmetrical
13
Q
men find women’s shapes most alluring when
A
waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) is 0.7 in which the waist is 30 percent smaller than the hips
14
Q
ideal waist-to-bust ratio
A
0.75
15
Q
ideal waist-to-hip ratio for men
A
0.9
16
Q
women and smell
A
prefer the smells of guys who’ve been eating a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables
17
Q
men and smell
A
prefer the natural scents of pretty women than those of women who are less attractive
18
Q
evolutionary perspective on physical attractiveness
A
- people all over the world still tend to agree who is and who is not attractive
- symmetric people of both sexes are smarter and get sick less often
- babies are born with preferences for the same faces that adults find attractive
- women with WHRs near 0.7 are usually young and are not already pregnant, so they look like they’d be good mates
- men with WHR of 0.9 is likely to be in better health
- attractiveness matters most to people in equatorial regions of the world where there are many parasites and pathogens that can endanger good health
19
Q
changes in women’s desires that accompany their monthly menstrual cycles
A
- generally find men’s bodies to be more attractive and they are better able to judge whether a guy is gay or straight
- men think women smell better when they’re about to ovulate than at other times of the month
- when women are fertile, their voices and bodies are more attractive to men
20
Q
standards of attractiveness are also affected by…
A
changing economic and cultural conditions
21
Q
mens looks correlated with
A
the number and length of the interactions they have with women (no correlation for women)
22
Q
attractive people tend to be
A
less lonely, more socially skilled, and a little happier
23
Q
disadvantages of being attractive
A
- divorce more often
- others lie to pretty people more often
24
Q
matching
A
partners in established romantic relationships tend to have similar levels of physical attractiveness
25
most rate their realistic interest in others and the likelihood that they would approach them and try to start a relationship based on this formula
a potential partner's desirability = his/her physical attractiveness x his/her probability of accepting you
26
mate value
overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner
27
expectations regarding the probability of others' acceptance have much to do with
mate value
28
similarities in partners
- demographic similarity in age, sex, race, education, religion, and social class
- similar levels of education
- similarity in attitudes and values
29
perceived similarity
our perceptions of how much we have in common affect our attraction more than our actual similarity does
30
stimulus-value-role theory
we gain three different broad types of information about our partners as a new relationship develops; when we first meet, out attraction to each other is primarily based on "stimulus" information; during the "value" stage, attraction depends on similarity in attitudes and beliefs as we learn whether we like the same things; only later does "role" compatibility become important, when we finally find out if we agree on the basics of parenting, careers, housecleaning, etc.
31
fatal attractions
occur when a quality that initially attracts one person to another gradually becomes one of the most obnoxious, irritating things about that partner
32
ideal self
someone who exhibits desirable qualities that we want to, but do not yet, possess
33
attraction to ideal selves
attracted to others who possess skills and talents that they wish they had
34
dissimilarity may decrease over time
- relationships can change people
- as time goes by, the members of a couple often come to share more similar attitudes
35
some types of similarity are more important than others
- especially rewarding to have someone agree with us on issues that are very important to us
- religion
- similarity in attitudes toward housework and gender roles
36
men care more about women being ___ while women care more about men being ___
- men --> young
- women --> financial prospects
37
complementary
when two partners have different skills, each is usually happy to allow the other to take the lead on those tasks at which the other is more talented
38
three themes in the criteria with which people evaluate potential mates
- warmth and loyalty
- attractiveness and vitality
- status and resources
39
despite differences men and women seek in physical attractiveness and income...
they generally seek the same qualities in their relationship partners
40
men and women have the same standards when they're pursuing short-term flings
- relatively low standards
- good-looking
- will accept lower intelligence, warmth, and earning potential
41
if he can't have it all, a man will check first to make sure that a woman...
has at least average looks and then they seek as much warmth, kindness, honesty, openness, stability, humor, and intelligence as they can get
42
if she can't have it all, a woman will check first to make sure that a man...
has at least some money or prospects and then they seek as much warmth, kindness, honesty, openness, stability, humor, and intelligence as they can get
43
dealbreakers for both men and women
- objectionable traits (such as being untrustworthy, unfeeling, or abusive)
- ill-health (STDs or alcoholism)
- poor hygiene
44
may be several reasons why one's standards are changin
- mate value may have risen
- big promotion or pay raise
- may be gradually lowering your standards if struggling to find a partner
45
social cognition
all the processes of perception, interpretation, belief, and memory with which we evaluate ad understand ourselves and other people
46
first impressions
judgments formed of others after a brief first meeting often have enormous staying power
47
takes this long to form judgments of a stranger's attractiveness, trustworthiness, and status
one-thirtieth of a second
48
snap judgments influenced by...
the fact that everyone we meet fits some category of people about whom we already hold stereotyped first impressions
49
primacy effect
a tendency for the first information we receive about others to carry special weight
50
confirmation bias
seeking information that will prove one right more often than looking for examples that would prove one wrong; applies to testing first impressions about people
51
overconfidence
thinking that one is more accurate than they really are and making more mistakes than they realize
52
positive illusions
people often judge their lovers in the best light possible; a mix of realistic knowledge about our partners and idealized perceptions of them
53
protect ourselves from disillusionment through
the fact that we tend to revise our opinions of what we want in an ideal partner so that our standards fit the partner we've got
54
attributions
the explanations one generates for why things happen and, in particular, why a person did or did not do something; emphasize influences that are either internal or external, stable or unstable, controllable or uncontrollable
55
internal attributions
the person's personality, ability, or effort
56
external attributions
the situation or circumstances the person faced
57
actor/observer effects
people generate different explanations for their own behavior than they do for the similar things they see their partners do; acknowledge external pressures when explaining their own actions, but make internal attributions when other people behave exactly the same way
58
self-serving biases
when someone readily takes credit for their successes but tries to avoid blame for their failures
59
self-serving biases in long term relationships
- when spouses fight with each other, they tend to believe that the argument is mostly their partner's fault
- if spouses have extramarital affairs, people usually consider their own affair to be innocuous dalliances, but they consider their spouse's affairs to be grievous betrayals
60
relationship enhancing attributions
- happy people tend to have these attributions
- positive actions by the partner are judged to be intentional, habitual, and indicative of the partner's fine character
- tend to discount one another's transgressions, seeing them as accidental, unstable, and uncontrollable causes
61
distress-maintaining attributions
- dissatisfied partners tend to make these attributions
- regard a partner's negative actions as deliberate and routine and positive behavior as unintended and accidental
62
reconstructive memory
the manner in which memories are continually revised and rewritten as new information is obtained
- influences relationships
- partners' current feelings about each other influence what they remember about their shared past
63
marital paradigms
broad assumptions about whether, when, and under what circumstances we should marry that are accompanied by beliefs about what it's like to be married
64
certain beliefs that people have about relationships are dysfunctional
appear to have adverse effects on the quality of relationships, making it less likely that the partners will be satisfied
- disagreements are destructive
- mindreading is essential
- partners cannot change
- sex should be perfect every time
- men and women are different
- great relationships just happen
65
destiny beliefs
assume that two people are either well suited for each other and destined to live happily ever after, or they're not
66
growth beliefs
good relationships are believed to develop gradually as the partners work at surmounting challenges and overcoming obstacles; basic presumption is that with enough effort, almost any relationship can succeed
67
self-fulfilling prophecies
false predictions that become true because they lead people to behave in ways that make the erroneous expectations come true
68
steps for self-fulfilling prophecy
- perceiver forms an expectancy about someone else (target) that predicts how the target will behave
- perceiver acts, usually in a fashion that is in accord with their expectations
- target's interpretation influences their response
- target responds --> usually in a manner similar to the perceiver's behavior toward them
- perceiver interprets the target's response
69
people who are high in rejection sensitivity...
tend to anxiously perceive snubs from others when none are intended
70
optimism in relationships
people who are chronically optimistic enjoy more satisfying close relationships
71
self-concept
encompasses all of the beliefs and feelings we have about ourselves
72
during social interaction, our self-concepts try to fulfill two different functions
self-enhancement and self-verification
73
self-enhancement
seek feedback from others that will enhance their self-concepts and allow them to think of themselves as desirable, attractive, competent people; desire for positive, complimentary feedback
74
self-verification
desire for feedback that is consistent with one's existing self-concept
75
implicit attitudes
unintentional and automatic associations in our judgments that are evident when our partners come to mind
76
disregard
brings bad responses towards a partner through implicit attitudes
77
implicit ambivalence
nonconscious mixed feelings about our partners
78
transference
old feelings can be "transferred" to new partners, influencing our behavior and our implicit attitudes toward them, when those new partners subtly remind us of significant others from our past
79
impression management
trying to influence the impressions of us that others form; can be conscious or unconscious
80
strategies of impression management
ingratiation, self-promotion, intimidation, supplication
81
ingratiation
when one does favors, pays compliments, mentions areas of agreements, and are generally charming to get others to like them
82
self-promotion
when one recounts their accomplishments or strategically arranges public demonstrations of their skills in order to be recognized and respected by others
83
intimidation
when one portrays themself as ruthless, dangerous, and menacing so that others will do their bidding
84
supplication
when one presents themself as inept or infirm to avoid obligations and to elicit help and support from others
85
self-monitoring
when someone readily adjusts their behavior to fit the varying norms of different situations
86
high self-monitors
alert to social cues that suggest what they should do and they are ready, willing, and able to tailor their behavior to fit in; tend to have more friends than low self-monitors, but they have less in common with each other; tend to surround themselves with activity specialistts
87
low self-monitors
less attentive to social norms and are less flexible; must search harder for partners with whom they are more similar across the board
88
activity specialists
partners who are great companions for some particular pleasure but with whom they are not compatible in other respects (ex. a "tennis buddy" or "fitness friend"
89
over time, people pay less head to the images they present to intimate partners than to the impressions made on others
- we know our friends and lovers like us, so there's less motivation to be charming to win their approval
- because they know us well, there's less we can do to have much effect on what they think
- people may simply get lazy
90
in close relationships, partners are likely...
to interpret one another's actions in ways that fit their existing preconceptions
91
perceptions of our partners over a long period of time
- perceptions do not necessarily become more accurate as time goes by
- tend to see in our partners what we want and expect to see
- perceive our partners' goals and their emotions to be more like our own than they really are
92
partner legibility
- some of the traits people have are more visible than others
- the more evident a trait is, the more accurately it will be perceived
93
emotional intelligence
a set of abilities that describes a person's talents in perceiving, using, understanding, and managing emotions
94
threatening perceptions
when accurate perceptions would be worrisome, intimate partners may actually be motivated to be inaccurate in order to fend off doubts about their relationship
95
model of communication
- sender's intentions (private and known only to the sender)
- sender's message (a variety of factors, such as the sender's mood or social skills or distractions in the surrounding environment, can influence or interfere with this process)
- receiver decodes the sender's actions (interference can occur here as well)
- an effect on the receiver (private and known only to the receiver)
96
interpersonal gap
the sender's intentions differ from the effect on the receiver
97
nonverbal behavior
includes all of the things people do in their intentions except for their spoken words and syntax
98
functions of nonverbal behavior in relationships
- providing information
- regulating interaction
- defining the nature of the relationship
- impression management
99
facial expression
people's spontaneous facial expressions signal their moods and emotions
100
seven facial expressions that appear to be universal
happy, surprise, contempt, sadness, fear, disgust, anger
101
display rules
cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in particular situations
102
at least four ways we may try to modify our expressions of emotion to follow display rules
intensify, minimize, neutralize, mask
103
intensify
may exaggerate our expressions that that we appear to be experiencing stronger feelings than we really are
104
minimize
sometimes minimize our expressions, trying to seem less emotional than we really are
105
neutralize
may neutralize our expressions, trying to withhold our true feelings altogether
106
mask
can mask our real feelings by replacing them with an entirely different apparent emotion
107
microexpressions
authentic flashes of real emotion that can be visible during momentary lapses of control
108
eyes
- our pupils dilate when we're looking at something that interests us
- when others are looking at us with large pupils, we tend to assume that they are more aroused and sexually available
109
gazing
- people with friendly expressions who catch our eye and keep looking seem more likable and attractive than those who glance at us then look away
- helps define the relationship two people share once interaction begins
- lovers spend more time looking at each other than friends do and friends look more than acquaintances do
110
visual dominance ratio (VDR)
compares "look-speak" (the percentage of time a speaker gazes at a listener) to "look-listen"
111
body movements
- routinely accompany and support our verbal communication, making it easier for us to convey what we mean
- can replace spoken words entirely in the form of gestures that are widely understood
- body postures can signal status
112
touch
- physical contact with another person can have various meanings
- the more satisfied spouses are with the amount of touching they receive, the more happily married they tend to be
- loving touches are good for health
113
interpersonal distance
the physical space that separates two people; intimate zone, personal zone, social zone, public zone
114
intimate zone
extends out from the front of our chests about a foot-and-a-half
115
personal zone
ranges from 1.5 to 4 feet away from us
116
social zone
four to twelve feet; interactions tend to be more businesslike
117
public zone
beyond 12 feet; interactions tend to be quite formal
118
smell
different emotions cause people to emit different chemicals --> chemosignals
119
paralanguage
includes all the variations in a person's voice other than the actual words they use, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, and rate
- helps define relationships because lovers tend to talk to each other differently than friends do
120
combining the components of nonverbal behavior
usually the different components reinforce each other, working together to convey consistent information about a person's sentiments and intentions
121
mimicry
occurs during a conversation when the participants adopt similar postures and mannerisms, display comparable expressions, and use similar paralanguage
- if they're enjoying their interaction, people tend to synchronize their nonverbal behavior automatically
122
nonverbal sensitivity
the sensitivity and accuracy with which couples read, decode, and correctly interpret each other's nonverbal behavior predict how happy their relationship with be
123
nonverbal sensitivity in longterm relationships
- women tend to attentively use subtle but real nonverbal cues to discern what's going on
- husbands in unhappy marriages sent more confusing messages and made more decoding errors than happy husbands did
- men in troubled marriages were misinterpreting communications from their wives that were clearly legible to total strangers
124
self-disclosure
process of revealing personal information to someone else
125
social penetration theory
relationships develop through systematic changes in communication; begin with exchanging superficial information and gradually move to more meaningful revelations
126
increase two aspects of communication for people to get closer
breadth and depth
127
breadth
the variety of topics discussed
128
depth
personal significance of topics discussed
129
wedge of social penetration
self-disclosure at the beginning of a new relationship is likely to take the form of a wedge that's both narrow (only a few different topics are being discussed) and shallow (only impersonal information is being revealed); as the relationship develops, the wedge should become broader and deeper
130
interpersonal process model of intimacy
genuine intimacy is likely to develop between two people only when certain conditions have been met: responsiveness, perceived partner responsiveness
131
responsiveness
when we open up to others, we want our disclosures to be received with apparent interest, sympathy, and respect; want others to indicate that they understand us and care about us
132
perceived partner responsiveness
judgment that one's partner is understanding and caring
133
taboo topics
sensitive matters that, in their opinion, may threaten the quality of their relationship
134
explicitly or implicitly, partners may agree to steer clear of...
taboo topics
135
secret tests
instead of discussing past sexual experiences; watch closely to see how their lovers respond to other attractive people (triangle test), contribe difficulties that the lover must overcome in order to demonstrate their devotion (endurance test), find reasons to be apart to see how enthusiastically their lovers welcome their return (separation test)
136
self-disclosure and relationship satisfaction
- the more self-disclosure romantic couples share, the happier they tend to be
- self-disclosure that fits the situation breeds liking and contentment in close relationships
- if we're attracted to others, we tend to be more open with them
- it's rewarding to be entrusted with self-disclosures from others
137
gender differences in verbal communication
- women are more likely than men to discuss their feelings about their close relationships and other personal aspects of their lives
- men tend to stick to more impersonal matters
- as a result, the conversations men have with each other tend to be less intimate and personal than the conversations women share
138
gender differences and styles of conversation
- women speak somewhat less forcefully than men do, being more indirect and seeming less certain
- women are less profane
139
gender differences and self-disclosure
- in established relationships, women are more self-disclosing than men are and elicit more self-disclosure from others
- men tend to offer their female partners more intimate self-disclosures than they provide their male best friends
- men often depend more on women for emotional warmth and intimacy than women do on them in return
140
kitchen-sinking
tend to address several topics at once, specifically relating to complaints
141
off-beam
wandering from topic so that the conversation never stays on one problem long enough to resolve it (can be caused by kitchen-sinking)
142
mindreading
when people assume that they understand their partners' thoughts, feelings, and opinions without asking
143
yes-butting
listening poorly by finding something wrong or un-workable with anything their partners says; communicates constant criticism of the others' point of view
144
cross-complaining
instead of expressing interest in what a partner has to say, one just responds to a complaint with one of their own
145
unhappy partners often display _____ when they talk with each other
negative affect
- react to partner's complaints with sarcastic disregard that is demeaning and scornful
- typically begin with criticism that attacks a partner's personality or character instead of identifying a specific behavior that is causing concern
- contempt
- stonewalling
- common response to contempt is defensiveness
- belligerence
146
contempt
insults, mockery, or hostile humor
147
stonewalling
when a partner "clams up" and reacts to the messy situation by withdrawing into a stony silence
148
belligerence
when one partner aggressively rejects the other altogether
149
strategies for saying what we mean
behavior description, I-statements, XYZ statements
150
behavior description
identifying as plainly and concretely as possible a specific behavior
151
I-statements
start with "I" and then describe a distinct emotional reaction
152
XYZ statements
follow the form of "When you do X in situation Y, I feel Z"
153
active listening
paraphrasing and perception checking
154
paraphrasing
repeating a message in our own words and giving the sender a chance to agree that that's what they actually meant
155
perception checking
people assess the accuracy of their inferences about a partner's feelings by asking the partner for clarification
156
interdependency
exists when we need others and they need us in order to obtain valuable interpersonal rewards
157
social exchange
when two people offer each other rewards that entice them to begin a process in which they each provide to the other benefits and rewards that the other wants
158
three key elements of social exchange
people's outcomes, comparison levels (CLs), and comparison levels for alternatives (CLalt's)
159
rewards
anything within an interaction that is desirable and welcome and that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient
160
costs
punishing, undesirable experiences
161
outcome
the net profit or loss a person encounters; adding up all the rewards and costs involved; outcomes = rewards - costs
162
two criteria with which we evaluate the outcomes we receive
our expectations, our perceptions of how well we could manage without our current partner
163
comparison level (CL)
describes the value of the outcomes that we've come to expect and believe that we deserve in our dealings with others; standards by which our satisfaction with a relationship is measured
164
if the outcomes you receive exceed your CL
you're happy; you're getting more than the minimum payoff you expect from interactions with others
165
if your outcomes fall below your CL
you're dissatisfied even if your outcomes are still pretty good and you're doing better than most people
166
satisfaction
outcomes - CL = satisfaction or dissatisfaction
167
comparison level for alternatives (CLalt's)
determine whether we could be doing even better somewhere else; describes the outcomes you'd receive by leaving our current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation you have available; lowest levels of outcome we will tolerate from our present partners
168
investments
the things one would lose if the relationship were to end; important influence on one's decision to stay or leave a relationship; can be tangible goods or intangible psychological benefits
169
dependency formula
Outcomes - CLalt = dependence or independence
170
when people's outcomes exceed both their CLs and their CLalt's
they're doing better than they could anywhere else, so they're happy and their relationship is stable
two different ways:
- a person's CL is higher than their CLalt
- a person's CLalt is higher than their CL
even if it exceeds only the CL or CLalt or both
171
if a person's CLalt is higher than their outcomes but their CL is lower
satisfied with their present partner but believes that they have even more attractive outcomes awaiting them somewhere else; happy but unstable
172
a person's outcomes are lower than both their CLs and CLalt's
unhappy and unstable relationship
two different ways:
- a person's CL is lower than their CLalt
- a person's CLalt is lower than their CL
even if its lower only than CL or CLalt or both
173
CL and CLalt over time
- if one's CL goes up and outcomes remain the same, satisfaction wanes
- sociocultural influences have caused our expectations to creep up and up
- cultural changes have increased our CLalt's (women in the workforce; people more mobile than ever; partners can be found online; legal, religious, and social barriers against divorce have gradually eroded
174
rewards-to-cost ratio of 5-to-1
ratio of positive to negative exchanges of 5:1 or better lead to a low risk of divorce
175
approach motivation
in seeking rewards, we try to satisfy an appetite for desirable experiences
176
avoidance motivation
our desire to avoid costs; seek to elude or escape punishment and pain, so we strive to avoid undesired experiences and to reduce negative feelings
177
4 outcomes for approach and avoidance motivations
precarious, flourishing, distressed, boring
178
precarious
many delights and many dangers; high in approach, low in avoidance
179
flourishing
many delights and few costs; approach high and avoidance high
180
distressed
few rewards and many costs; approach low and avoidance low
181
boring
being safe but dull; approach low and avoidance high
182
boredom
characterized by tedium, disinterest, and a lack of energy and occurs when nothing enticing, intriguing, or new is occurring in an intimate relationship
183
self-expansion model
we are attracted to partnerships that expand the range of our interests, skills, and experiences
- according to this model, the key to staying happy is to combat boredom by creatively finding ways to continue your personal growth
184
relationship turbulence
a period of adjustment and turmoil as new partners become accustomed to their increasing interdependence
- occurs after a period of initial excitement that is characterized by a rapid increase in satisfaction
185
reasons for relational turbulance
- as partner spend more and more time together, they disrupt each others' routines
- partners may encounter some resistance from their friends as the new relationship absorbs more of their time
- if the relationship undergoes a major transition
186
even if people are usually aware of most of their incompatibilities and problems before they marry, there will almost always be some surprises ahead; two types
- learning the truth about things we thought we knew
- learning undesired things that you didn't know at all
187
people may encounter unanticipated costs and most spouses' satisfaction actually declines some during the first years of marriage due to...
a) lack of effort; because b) interdependency is a magnifying glass; and through c) access to weaponry, d) unwelcome surprises, and e) unrealistic expectations
188
according to interdependence theory...
we want maximum reward at minimum cost and we want the best interpersonal deals we can get
189
exchange relationships
people do favors for others expecting to be repaid by receiving comparable benefits in return
190
communal relationships
partners feel a special concern for the other's well-being and they provide favors and support to one another without expecting repayment
191
people in exchange relationships
if they accept a kindness from someone, people feel obligated to return a similar favor to even the scales
192
people in communal relationships
- avoid strict cost accounting and they'd rather not have their kindnesses quickly repaid
- monitor their partners' needs even when they see no opportunity for personal gain
- feel better about themselves when they help their partners
193
scale to measure communal strength
the motivation to be responsive to a particular partner's needs
- as feelings of communal strength increase, people enjoy making small sacrifices for their partners and both they and their partners are happier as a result
194
equity theorists
extend the framework of social exchange to assert that people are most satisfied in relationships in which there is proportional justice
195
proportional justice
each partner gains benefits from the relationship that are proportional to their contributions to it
196
equitable relationship ratio
your outcomes / your contributions = your partner's outcomes / your partner's contributions
197
overbenefitted
receiving better outcomes in a relationship than they deserve; unequal proportional justice
198
underbenefitted
receiving less in a relationship than they should; unequal proportional justice
199
equity may be more important in some domains than in others
household tasks, child care
200
satisficer
people who pursue purchases and partners who meet their expectations but who when they're satisfied stop shopping
201
maximizers
do not want to just be happy, they want to optimize their outcomes and enjoy maximum satisfaction, so they keep evaluating their options; tend to be less committed to their parnters
202
commitment
a desire for a relationship to continue and the willingness to work to maintain it
203
commitment scale
three themes:
committed partners expect their relationship to continue, hold a long-term view, and are psychologically attached to each other so that they are happier when their partners are happy, too
204
investment model
commitment emerges from all of the elements of social exchange that are associated with peoples CLs and CLalt's
- Satisfaction increases commitment
- Alternatives of high-quality decrease commitment
- Investments in a relationship increase commitment to it
205
components to the investment model
satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size --> commitment level --> relationship maintenance mechanisms
206
forecast
an influence on a current commitment to a relationship based on how satisfying one thinks the partnership will be in the future
207
when someone feels low in commitment readiness...
they feel unprepared and incapable of planning a future with anyone
208
three types of commitment
personal commitment, constraint commitment, moral commitment
209
personal commitment
when people want to continue a relationship because they are attracted to their partners and the relationship is satisfying
210
constraint commitment
when people feel they have to continue a relationship because it would be too costly for them to leave
211
moral commitment
derives from a sense of moral obligation to one's partner or one's relationship
212
relationship maintenance mechanisms
committed people engage in a variety of behavioral and cognitive maneuvers that both preserve and enhance the relationship and reinforce their commitment to it
- accommodation
- willingness to sacrifice
- derogation of tempting alternatives
213
accommodation
people refrain from responding to provocation from their partners with similar ire of their own; tolerate destructive behavior without fighting back
214
willingness to sacrifice
committed people display greater willingness to sacrifice their own self-interest for the good of the relationship
215
derogation of tempting alternatives
judging other potential partners to be less attractive than they would seem to be if they were single and unattached
216
contrast effects
may lead us to underestimate the desirability of many people we meet
217
balance theory
suggests that we prefer consistency and symmetry in our relationships
218
desirability
desirability = (physical attractiveness) x (probability of acceptance)
219
we tend to like those who share our:
age, race, sex, religion, social class, attitudes, values, personalities
219
psychological reactance
when people lose their freedom, they strive to regai it
219
sexual dimorphism
the systematic difference in form between individuals of different sexes in the same species
220
221
romanticism
the view that love should be what brings two people together
222
marriage shift
self-verification becomes obvious with greater interdependence
223
narcissism
highly inflated sense of self; lots of confidence; selfish and exploitative
224
components that influence how well we know our partners
- knowledge
- motivation
- partner legibility --> some people are easier to read than others
- perceiver ability --> some people are more discerning than others with judgments
- threatening perceptions
- perceiver influence --> may try to change someone
225
the chameleon effect
- we are highly influenced by others around us
- interpretive schemas and behavioral schemas
- participants unknowingly mimicked the nonverbal behaviors of their partners
- synchronization of individual members within a group and increases in empathy, liking, and social bonding
226
interpretive schemas
belief systems used to perceive
227
behavioral schemas
relate to the actual production of behavior
228
four basic types of relationships
- happy and stable --> when outcomes exceed both CL and CLalt
- unhappy but stable --> when outcomes exceed CLalt but fall below CL
- happy and unstable --> when outcomes exceed CL but fall below CLalt
- unhappy and unstable --> when outcomes fall below both CL and CLalt
229
PSYC 353: Close Relationships
flashcards
Decks in class (4)
# Cards
