Attachment Theory
A theory explaining how we form bonds and manage relationships.
Purpose of attachment system
Evolved to help us form bonds and manage relationships.
Attachment style
The pattern we develop for connecting and relating with others.
Four attachment styles
Secure; Anxious; Avoidant; Disorganized.
Secure attachment percentage
About 50–65% of people.
Insecure attachment percentage
About 35–50% of people.
Impact of attachment style
Affects childhood, romance, education, and workplace.
Secure attachment outcomes
Higher GPA and higher graduation rate.
Insecure attachment outcomes
Mental health struggles and physical unwellness.
Secure attachment at work
Comfortable asking for help; manages stress calmly; builds trust; stays emotionally balanced.
Secure attachment in relationships
Comfortable with closeness and independence; communicates needs clearly; handles conflict constructively.
Normalizing insecure attachment
There is no right or wrong attachment style.
Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Skills that help regulate emotions, communicate clearly, and build healthier relationships.
Attachment and EI
Attachment styles are stable, but EI skills can reduce the impact of insecure attachment.
All feelings are valid
Feelings arise automatically and are not choices.
Feelings and morality
Since we cannot control what feelings arise, there is no morality in having them.
Valid does NOT mean
Every action is acceptable or everyone must agree.
Difficult emotions
Part of being human; not a failure.
Why difficult emotions matter
They often show up when something matters.
Ignoring emotions
Unnoticed or suppressed emotions become distressing over time.
Managing emotions
Emotions become easier to manage when noticed and named.
Collective intelligence (CI)
A measure of how well a group solves complex intellectual challenges.
CI and IQ
Collective intelligence is NOT strongly correlated with average team intelligence.
What strongly predicts CI
Conversational turn-taking and social sensitivity.
