intentionality
words have intentional and not so intentional meanings
Denotative
-the explicit or official meanings of a word (dictionary meaning)
Connotative
the suggested or implied meaning of the word
Words as intentional communication
- words are consciously selected and used in an interaction
- we can control our words (its harder to control nonverbals)
Words used to wound
- words that hurt, embarrass,shame humiliate, or cause some other kind of pin to another person (hate speech, discriminatory language)
- issues with intentionally
Accusatory Language
- words that implies the other is fault, responsible or to blame for a negative occurrence
- “YOU” oriented language (YOU make me so mad)
- Qualified Language: to qualify a statement you insert words or phases which lessen the directness and suggest less certainty
Language Intensity
-using words to intentionally shock, revolt or move someone
Desensitization-if we are continually exposed to a word that has “shock value” after a while, the shock will wear off
Desensitization
if we are continually exposed to a word that has “shock value” after a while, the shock will wear off
Ex) “love you” with new vs old couples
Eupemisms
opposite from shock, term used to soften the impact
Ex)”let go” vs “fired”
Powerful and Powerless Language
words that diminish perceptions of the source’s power, status, credibility, competence
Hesitations- “um, er ah”
Hedges- “i guess, maybe, perhaps
Tag Questions- “I’m a good golfer aren’t I?”
Intensifiers- “i like you very very very “”
Personality effects on word choice
- people with different personality characteristics use different words
- people who are more trait dominant (on the extreme end) use more intense language to get their ideas across
- human oriented people use humor word choice to get their idea across
Situations Affecting Verbal Communication
Context-workplace vs your apartment
-we don’t speak the same way to our best friend vs boss
Source Effects- sometimes we interpret words differently depending on who is saying them
-so considering the source of words can help us understand the words
Ex)best friend calling you a bitch vs stranger
Neccessity of Verbal Interaction
- we use words to interact with all people all the time
-words can be risky (saying i love you for the first time”
-
Assurances
verbal expression that directly tell the partner of your commitment to the relationship
Ex)I’m so glad i’m with you”
Vocabulary Development
without words, meanings may be unclear
-discuss what words mean with our partner
Link Stages of Relationships
- as relationships grow closer, language tend to change from informal to casual
- Idiosyncratic language is the development of words with special meaning between relational partners
- nicknames are created
- word denote stages “My friend Bill” vs My Boyfriend Bill
Conclusions about verbal interaction
- words are essential part of relationships
- words are symbols that we select to express our feelings, thoughts, and ideas
Functions of Listening
Informational, Job Related, Relational
Informational
listen to get information from other people
Ex) driving directions,
Job Related
-sometimes our job is to listen
Ex)counselors, food server
Relational
- listening is imperative in relations, it helps us learn about our partners interpersonal needs
- listening needs to be a reciprocal activity
- poor listeners are poor communicators.
Components of Listening
attention, reception, and perception
Attention
- most listening is paying attention
- it is motivational, we attentively listen when we believe information will help us
- we pay attention to familiar information
- Schemas ( patterns of organizing information) help us pay attention
- women pay more attention, direct eye contact,
Reception
- the hearing aspect of listening
- its possible to hear someone and not listen
- hearing loss is the largest type of disability
