Interpersonal Conflict
-when attitudes and behaviors of one person interfere or create obstacles for another
Obstacles:- Actions can be obstacles, but these action can create hurt and anger
4 Relational Influence Principals
- differing goals, people differ on what goals they see as important
- differing ways of achieving goals, people agree on a goal but see different ways to achieve it
- differing interpersonal needs, different inclusion affection and control needs
- differing expectations of behavior, we have expectations and often unaware of them until they are violated
Attitudes towards Conflict
Management Vs Resolution : manage- deal with it, negotiate it, “make it work” Resolve -get rid of it
Win Loose Orientation- bad idea, relationships arent supposed to be competitive
“if we have conflict its terminal”-fear of fighting
-The work is worth it- if you want to maintain the relationship, working through managing it and resolving conflicts is worth it.
2 ineffective Conflict Styles
Avoiders- people who hate arguing and will avoid discussing conflict issues at all costs
-Erupters-people who lose their temper and become very emoitonal when angry.
Rules for Fair Fighting
- both parties need to agree and follow rules
- adopt a win win orientation
- set a time for the fight
- make sure time set aside is sufficient and appropriate for both parties
