Define conflict?
is an expressed struggle between at least tow people who perceive the situation differently and are experiencing interference from the other person in achieving their goals
What are the positive and negative effects of conflict?
Positive: promote growth in a relationship, allow for a healthy release of feelings, increase motivation and self-esteem
negatives: the manner in which we approach conflict, and larger problems with deeper personal resentments may occur.
What are the three behavior styles used in handling conflict?
–Passive: non assertive, avoidant, positively perceived by the other but may build up anger
–aggressive: dominating or attacking other person. You get what you want but you hurt the other person in process
- -assertive: Cooperative, collaborative with problem solving, you stand up for yourself and get what you want but your also at risk of disappointments.
- *most appropriate, effective and constructive way of responding to conflict
What is the focal point in learning to be assertive?
–the “I” message (expressing yourself effectively before you become angry)
- -Four steps
- an objective non judgmental description of the persons behavior in specific terms
- how I feel about this (the problem)
- the effects on me
- A request and an invitation to respond with positive consequences
ex: I feel annoyed when you keep apologizing to me and it is affecting my happiness at my job. How do you feel?
What two factors come into play when deciding how to handle conflict?
–assertiveness and cooperation
What are the five strategies for handling conflict?
- -avoiding (lose, lose)
- -accommodating (lose-win) one person gives in (passive)
- -competing/forcing (win-lose or lose-lose) (aggressive)
- -compromising (partial lose-lose)
- -collaborating (win-win)
What causes conflict?
- -control over resources
- -preferences and nuisances
- -values
- -beliefs
- -goals
- -nature of relationship between partners
