Dad Jokes

Question 1

Finish the joke:

Why don’t lobsters like to share?

Answer 1

They’re shellfish.

Get it? Shellfish sounds like selfish.

Question 2

Finish the joke:

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Answer 2

Nacho cheese.

Get it? Nacho sounds like not your.

Question 3

Finish the joke:

Why was the computer cold?

Answer 3

It left its Windows open.

Get it? The operating system is called Windows, and open windows let in cold air.

Question 4

Finish the joke:

Why was the calendar so popular?

Answer 4

Because it had lots of dates!

Get it? Calendars have dates as days, and dates mean social outings.

Question 5

Finish the joke:

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

Answer 5

An investigator.

Get it? Investigator sounds like in vest i gator, playing on alligator.

Question 6

Finish the joke:

Why did the tomato turn red?

Answer 6

It saw the salad dressing.

Get it? Dressing means both putting on clothes and salad sauce, so the tomato is embarrassed.

Question 7

Finish the joke:

What’s a snake’s favorite subject?

Answer 7

Hiss-tory.

Get it? Hiss-tory sounds like history, with a snake’s hiss sound.

Question 8

Finish the joke:

What do you call a fake noodle?

Answer 8

An impasta.

Get it? Impasta sounds like impostor, a fake pasta.

Question 9

Finish the joke:

Why was the math book sad?

Answer 9

It had too many problems.

Get it? Math books have problems to solve, and problems also mean troubles.

Question 10

Finish the joke:

What do you call a sleeping bull?

Answer 10

A bulldozer.

Get it? Bulldozer combines bull with dozer, meaning one who dozes or sleeps.

Question 11

Finish the joke:

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

Answer 11

A carrot.

Get it? Carrot sounds like parrot with a “c” instead of “p”.

Question 12

Finish the joke:

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Answer 12

Sofishticated.

Get it? SoFISHticated sounds like soPHISticated, with fish in it.

Question 13

Finish the joke:

Why did the stadium get hot?

Answer 13

All the fans left.

Get it? Fans are both supporters who leave and devices that cool air.

Question 14

Finish the joke:

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

Answer 14

It was two-tired.

Get it? Two-tired sounds like too tired, and bicycles have two tires.

Question 15

Finish the joke:

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

Answer 15

An orca-stra.

Get it? Orca-stra sounds like orchestra, with orca being killer whales.

Question 16

Finish the joke:

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?

Answer 16

A maybe.

Get it? Maybe sounds like may bee.

Question 17

Finish the joke:

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

Answer 17

A can’t opener.

Get it? Can’t opener means it cannot open.

Question 18

Finish the joke:

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Answer 18

Because 7 8 9.

Get it? 7 8 9 sounds like seven ate nine.

Question 19

Finish the joke:

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Answer 19

Nothing. It just waved.

Get it? The ocean waved like a hand wave, but also makes waves.

Question 20

Finish the joke:

What is a math teacher’s favourite dessert?

Answer 20

Pi.

Get it? Pi is the math constant, sounding like pie.

Question 21

Finish the joke:

When do accountants fall over?

Answer 21

When they lose their balance.

Get it? Accountants balance books, and balance also means not falling over.

Question 22

Finish the joke:

Why did the math book look so sad?

Answer 22

Because it had so many problems.

Get it? Math books have problems to solve, and problems mean troubles.

Question 23

Finish the joke:

Why didn’t the sun go to university?

Answer 23

Because it already had a million degrees.

Get it? The sun is hot with high degrees of temperature, and degrees are also academic qualifications.

Question 24

Finish the joke:

What do biologists wear to work on casual Friday?

Answer 24

Genes.

Get it? Biologists study genes, which sounds like jeans.

Question 25

# Finish the joke: What's something you never want your doctor to say during surgery?

Answer 25

Oops! ## Footnote Get it? *Oops* means a mistake, which is bad during surgery.

Question 26

# Finish the joke: What do you call a singing laptop?

Answer 26

A Dell. ## Footnote Get it? *Dell* is a laptop brand, sounding like *Adele* the singer.

Question 27

# Finish the joke: What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Answer 27

Depresso. ## Footnote Get it? *Depresso* combines "depressed" with "espresso".

Question 28

# Finish the joke: What did the sushi say to the bee?

Answer 28

Wasabi. ## Footnote Get it? *Wasabi* is a sushi condiment, and this sounds like *what's up, bee?*

Question 29

# Finish the joke: Why can't eggs keep secrets?

Answer 29

Because they crack under pressure. ## Footnote Get it? Eggs *crack* when pressured, and people crack under pressure by revealing secrets.

Question 30

# Finish the joke: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Answer 30

Frostbite. ## Footnote Get it? *Frostbite* combines cold from a snowman with a vampire's bite.