Playful Assumption Story
We tell a mini-backstory that playfully frames her into a box that is deliberately silly or a little bit unflattering, in response to something you notice or that she says. Then let her expend effort to climb back out of it. Then put her in another box.
If you opened on the basis of her style, mood or activity, your assumption story should be on that topic.
This is the essence of banter –>
Playfully framing her according to stereotypes and mildly unflattering characterizations, then watching her try to fight back. You want her to get a small dose of righteous indignation because girls LOVE THAT FEELING and will be energized to respond and correct you, opening the conversation to banter.
By triggering her indignation you are giving her a soft push, which further demonstrates your boundaries and shows you aren’t a kiss-ass push over male.
The indignation is emotional bait that motivates her to respond while the playful vibe softens the edges so she understands you’re not just being mean.
Playful Assumption Stack
A slightly exaggerated assumption about her based on something you observe or something she says. The stack comes BEFORE the assumption story.
For ex., “You strike me as someone who…” / “You seem like…”
+ “is a bit of a homebody (assumption stack).
“I can definitely picture you at home on a Friday night in your pajamas watching re-runs of the bachelor” (assumption story)
Say it with a smirk so she knows you’re being playful.
Geography Assumption
“You don’t look like a typical __Japanese girl__, you look __Chinese__ or __south korean_”
Her: I’m X
“You’re X…I’ve heard mixed things about X girls.” (list 3 things, 2 complimentary, 1 a playful tease/push).
Work Assumption
“Yea, you have a very __serious__ vibe about you, you’re probably an accountant or a lawyer”
Childish vibe: work with kids
Accuse her of being a “Poser”
Playfully accuse her of appearing one way, but in actuality she’s something else and just a poser. For ex., she looks like a surfer, you tell her from her she looks like a surfer chick, and if she says she’s not, playfully accuse her:
“Oh, so you’re just a poser” [smile]….”
“Why are you pretending to be something you’re not? Why don’t you just be you?”
Playfully re-frame her
She tells you she studies hard. You can challenge her by interpreting it as “boring” rather than impressive, or tease her by framing her as a “teacher’s pet” rather than a good student.
She’s reading or looks nerdy (playful assumption) –>
“You strike me as the teacher’s pet in school”
Boring –>
“Sounds so boring. I can imagine you sitting at home on Friday nights reading self-help books and sipping chamomile tea”
If you can’t think of a stack, ask her ____
“So, how do you like it here?” (this place / city)
[we’re baiting her for more information we can then use to playfully banter]
Challenge her on her answer
“What would make it better?”
REALLY LISTEN to any keywords/topics she gives you off the open or in response to your first assumption stack.
These are KEYWORDS that you should grab a hold of and tease or story tell on.
Sucker Rapport
Girls will often derail you by sucking you into rapport before you’ve had a chance to inject the electricity of attraction.
Resist the urge to slip into rapport or DHV when a girl asks a question about you. Resist the urge to unload your knowledge about her country or let her know you’ve been to her country. Feign ignorance and make her tell you, or playfully diss the city using your knowledge. This is not the time to engage in meaningful conversation.
The point of attraction is it’s light, carefree and stimulating emotions - in particular pleasant indignation. You want electricity, and rote recital of facts is not the path to it.
If you’ve managed to stack and get her engaged with playful banter
90% of the time this is where you reach hook point. She’ll respond to your teasing, throw a little back at you, and then give you the hook point signal.
Most reliable hookpoint signal is _________-
She asks you a question, usually “where are you from” or “what do you do?”. Alternatively she’ll rattle off a couple sentences which continue the conversation and add a little value.
Once you get hookpoint signal, start to dial down the banter and progress into setting the buyer frame and then connection.
Upon hitting hook point your whole demeanor shifts
Fold your arms
Wipe the smile off your face
Talk less
shy/nerdy girl tease:
“You seem like such a nice, innocent girl. I bet you never break any rules or do anything crazy.”
Challenge what she says once in a while in a way that creates playful tension. Easiest way to do this is accuse her of lying to impress you.
“You’re lying” or [look her up and down] and say “I don’t believe you”
Her: no really
“you’re not just saying that to try to impress me?”
ex.) She says she’s a surfer or a dancer or something physical
[look her up and down] + “I don’t believe you”
Her: no really
“You’re not just saying that to try to impress me?”
Her: no I am
“I’m gonna need to see some proof of that”
Rule #1 of Teasing
Don’t be 1 note and just tease constantly. You just want to do it occasionally and once she’s hooked move onto setting the buyer frame and connection.
Rule #2 of Teasing
Tease always with a little smirk on your face and a playful tone
Things NOT to tease her about
(1): Deeply held beliefs/values like political/religious affiliations
(2) Un-changeable physical features like her nose, skin patches, moles (exception to this is height - that’s fair game ;)
(3) Don’t make any statements like “where’s the off button” teasing her for talking too much, as it will cause her to stop investing/qualifying and not feel comfortable expressing herself around you.
(4) Insulting her intelligence / calling her stupid or saying she has a tiny brain.
Principle: Tease the group she belongs to
-Gen Z
-Nationality
-Profession
-Hobby
ex.) she says she’s studying law, you can tease lawyers (the group she belongs to)
“I’m so glad I’m a millennial and not a gen z, we’re way cooler”
When she counters on millennials –>
“Well, we also have stable mental health and real friends”
Her: I have real friends
“Discord and snapchat doesn’t count” [smirk]
