Rule: Attraction is born from ________________
TENSION, not comfort
Why questions KILL attraction
It’s boring polite conversation she’s had with dozens or hundreds of men before, leading in with the same boring questions and waiting for HER to make the conversation interesting.
Desire isn’t born from collecting facts. It’s born from the feeling you create without asking for permission.
Stop opening with questions she’s heard 100 times before. Instead ______
Lead with your observation, or the frame you want her to step into.
Soft Tones, i.e. trying for rapport tonality KILLS attraction
These come off like you don’t want to disturb her, the opposite of dominant and confident you belong there.
How to Set Frame Non-Verbally
Speak as if your words already have value, without waiting to see if she’ll give them worth.
The Fatal Tell
When you make your presence dependent on someone else’s reaction, you’ve surrendered the stage before the 1st act begins. When a man’s energy asks for permission, a woman loses attraction.
Stand as if you already own your place in the room.
The 1st time she disagrees with you is not a threat, it’s…
the TEST you didn’t know you were taking
Most men fail it instantly.
They smile too fast, agree too quickly, as if smoothing over tension will buy attraction. Men mistakenly believe agreeing with her builds attraction; she sees it as weak submission. They believe avoiding friction shows maturity; she sees predictability (i.e. boringness). These men release pressure/tension too often and too quickly and end up killing her attraction.
The reality is, women become curious about a man who doesn’t fold under pressure.
Disagreeing well can be the spark that makes her see you differently.
Next time she disagrees with you, don’t argue. Instead, hold your frame and put some pressure on her.
Ex.) if you say you like this place, and she says she doesn’t like it that much, you could say: “Interesting. What would make it better for you?”
Tension = Emotion = Memory
Tension is the spark that creates emotion; emotion is what burns your memory into her mind. The moment you remove all tension you remove all memory of you.
This is why questions with no edge are boring and kill attraction.
If you’re going to ask her a question, _____
it should have some built in tension (emotional spark) in it. Safe questions make her feel nothing.
The man who can hold tension without anger or fear becomes an experience she replays in her mind.
Good game is about _____________
Reactions and responses.
Game isn’t as much about what you do as it is about how you respond to her reactions to what you do.
The “dance” between men and women is a sequence of steps that goes 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, etc.
- Move - you make a move of some kind.
- Reaction - her reaction to your move.
- Response - your response to her reaction. Note the opportunity to skyrocket her attraction lies in this step #3.
- Recognition - She opens up or in some way recognizes your response.
“There is this girl, she’s my ideal physical type. I tell her I’m gonna hit on her, tell her she’s my type, tell her I like her, tell her I’m gonna have sex with her. She says, ‘Well, it’s not going to happen. I say, ‘We’ll see, I’m very charming.’” - Jon Sinn
He takes her home that night. When he says “We’ll see” he shows it’s our responses to her reactions that create real attraction. Even bad reactions from girls can create space to show “good Game” in step #3 - your response to her bad reaction.
Game starts when she reacts to you and you begin to show her you can feel her and respond to her.
Put more emphasis on seeing her reactions and really using what she gives you as you respond. That’s where the magic happens.
Penetration
You make a move. All of our moves (social, conversational, sexual) are a kind of “penetration”. We penetrate her day on a daygame approach, or penetrate her body during sex. It is a key element of masculinity.
But if that’s all you understand, you’ll be this lame robot throwing moves and techniques at girls.
That “move oriented” thinking is not sexy because you’re not involving her.
After you make your move, she has some kind of emotional reaction. She feels something and the dance begins.
She can like it or hate it, but as our move inspires some feeling in her, she will indicate that in her reaction. Focus on this part. To get better, tune into her reactions (on the pickup, in bed, etc).
“Catch her reaction”
You want to notice the reactions you create in women, and then using excellent timing do something with it in a way she can feel.
Game is about creating a reaction, and then doing something with that reaction via your response. Artful responses are at the center of effective, beautiful seduction.
While some girls hook early, very often girls get into you after it’s gone back and forth a little.
Game goes beyond “moves” and becomes personal as you respond to her specifically, when she feels you are responding specifically to how she feels.
Don’t ask for her name until she’s hooked and you’ve had some connection.
She hasn’t earned your interest enough to ask her what her name is. She has to earn your interest enough for you to care what her name is or introduce yourself even.
