4 reasons why its hard to do listening?
- preoccupation (Thinking about our own thoughts/problems/ideas, drift off.)
- prejudgement (We think we know what someone is going to say/mean. Stop us from listening to their actual words)
- reactivity (We listen for emotional content. We often react to the emotion rather than the message)
- lack of motivation/effort (Aren’t motivated enough to put in the effort to listen)
6 ways how to not listen
- pseudo listening
- monopolising
- selective listening
- defensive listening
- ambushing
- literal listening
pseudo listening
Pretend to listen
There in body but not paying attention
monopolising
Focus conversation continually on ourself not conversation partner
Use of tricks to turn conversation back to ourselves
selective listening
Only attend to fraction of conversation
Focus on parts we find interesting
Motivated to hear what we want to hear
defensive listening
Selectively listen for attacks, criticism, hostility
May be looking to take offence even if there’s nothing offensive
Often when conversing with someone with different opinions
ambushing
Listening for points to attack
May look to criticise what others saying
Often when conversing with someone with different opinions
literal listening
Listening to the words being said but not the emotional tone
Results in misinterpretations
how to listen
Nodding
Affirmatives (ok, great, yup)
Paraphrasing (so your saying…)
Active listening
projection biases
People make assumptions and assume others thoughts/feelings mirror their own internal states
Occurs in relationships
The more people feel they have to suppress emotions, the more they assume their partner is feelings lots they have to suppress.
Parents project on their spouses
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Stops us from hearing/believing what others say
reinforcement
type of reward that encourage someone to keep going/that we approve
questioning
closed - yes/no
open
reflecting
- paraphrasing
- repeating
- reflecting
self-disclosure
- sharing info about self to others
- can be objective/factual
- can be internal/vulnerable
- caveat: depends on context
confederate
In a psychological experiment a confederate is a person who appears to be a participant but is actually part of the research team.
meta analysis
where results of a collection of published research are collated into a single statistical analysis to determine what conclusion can be drawn based oof this large pool of data. The principle is that conclusions formed from such a large pool of data have greater generalisability as the data often represent a larger portion of population.
