Chapter 10

Question 1

What did Lewin write about?

Answer 1

Conflict: competing goals

Question 2

Each partner in a relationship will have different goals. This is more likely when people are…

Answer 2

highly interdependent and have frequenct contact

Question 3

What is more influential than what they disagree about?

Answer 3

how people respond to conflict

Question 4

Over a 15 day period, 100 couples with children reported 748 conflicts that they had. A conflict was defined as “any major or minor interpersonal interaction that involved a difference of opinion, whether it was mostly negative of even mostly positive.” Husbands and wives gave independent diary report, but provided what?

Answer 4

similar information about the topic of their disagreements

Question 5

From the perspective of social learning theory (learn by imitation), the key to verbal conflict is what?

How is a pioneer of this work?

Answer 5

knowing how to disagree

John Gottman

Question 6

Interactions determine what

Answer 6

quality of relationship

Question 7

John Gottman made the structural model of marital interaction. What did he say about unhappy couples?

Answer 7

unhappy couples…

engage in more negative than positive behaviours (which is accompanied by negative affect)

interactions are highly predictably (engage in negative reciprocal)

get stuck in cycles in negative reciprocity (happy couples get out of these quicker)

Question 8

What other Gottman nuances are there for unhappy couples?

Answer 8

kitchen sinking (flooding), self-summarizing, presumptive attributions (mindreading), cross-complaining, prescription

Question 9

Demand/withdraw is a type of conflict pattern. What is it?

Answer 9

One partner wants a change and pushes the other for discussion on the topic, the other partner does not respond

Question 10

Demand/withdraw is especially likely for what kind of people?

Answer 10

concerning topics where women are the ones who want change

people who want more change than their partners (unhappy partners)

Question 11

Relationship quality influences conflict. What is cognitive editing?

Answer 11

Happy couples tend to view each other’s behaviours in a more positive light than unhappy couples do

Question 12

Relationship quality influences conflict. What is reactivity hypothesis?

Answer 12

unhappy couples tend to be vigilant for negative behaviours and tend to respond in kind (if you look for the negative behaviours, you most likely will find them)

Question 13

Couples who handle conflict poorly will experience what?

Answer 13

Faster declines in marital quality, ONLY WHEN humor, interest, and affection are relatively rare

Question 14

Can positive emotion override the effects of negative content/skills during conflict?

Answer 14

yes

Question 15

what was most predictive of decreasing satisfaction among couples with minor problems?

Answer 15

negative conflict resolution strategies (hostility, anger)

Question 16

what stabilized satisfaction (at a lower level, when problems were severe)?

Answer 16

negative conflict strategies

Question 17

When you become too physiologically aroused, you need a break. What might this look like?

Answer 17

30 min break (focused relaxation), to become calm

Question 18

Conflict produces a physiological reaction in our bodies. What are some examples?

Will progress be made (during conflicts)?

Answer 18

adrenaline pumps through circ sys

hearts race

pulse inc

emotion floods brain

body temp increases

NO, you need to physiologically calm down first

Question 19

What are some rules for taking a time out?

Answer 19

use I or We not You
set spec time to deal with issue later
wait 30 min, less than 24 hour
use safe way to communicate, so that you stay calm
keep in mind what is really behind the anger - hurt feelings

Question 20

What are some techniques for problem solving?

Answer 20

Start with problem talk before moving to problem solving

speaker listener techniques to unearth the broader issue

Question 21

What are 2 types of problems?

Answer 21

perpetual problems (always present, 69% of problems)

solvable problems (able to have a resolution)